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Eunice Lim Ying Ci – Translation of Liu Yong’s ‘The Most Difficult Performance to Give’

If this life is a performance, then surely this performance is a stage performance and not a cinematic one. For we are confronted not by the camera, but by the living audience. We act as we are meant to do, for there can be no editing. If we give a lousy performance, there is no way to take it back, because there are no additional takes for the taking. What makes life more difficult than any stage performance is the absence of a script. There is no telling what comes next and there will be no rehearsals. From the moment we are born, the curtain rises and we have entered the stage. And by the time the critics evaluate our performance and historians make their conclusions, we would have departed from this stage we call the world.

Life – what a profoundly difficult performance to give!

 

最难演的一场戏

著:刘墉

 

人生,这是一场多么难演的戏呀!

如果我们把人生形容成戏,那么这场戏就应当是指舞台剧,而非电影。因为我们面对的是活生生的观众,而非摄影机;我们是按部就班地演下来,而不能剪接;我们演坏了就再也无法收回,因为那不能喊NG。此外比舞台剧更难的是,我们没有剧本,所以不能预知下一刻的发展;更没有排演的机会,因为从生下来的那一刻,便步上了舞台。而当剧评家为这场戏下评语,历史家盖棺定论时,我们早已随着走下舞台而离开人世了。

人生,这是一场多么难演的戏呀!

 

* Reprinted with permission from SZY Studio
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Translation

Eunice Lim Ying Ci – Translation of Liu Yong’s ‘Kaleidoscope’

Kaleidoscope

 

We are all familiar with the kaleidoscope. Our childhood days were spent looking through the mirror of the kaleidoscope at the countless, beautiful images. As we turn it continuously, the images change endlessly. But smash the kaleidoscope open, and you will find nothing but bits of coloured paper inside.

Our lives are no different.

As the wheel of life turns, many things are vibrant, and they interweave and transform. However, rend it apart and you will see that an assortment of some simple beings and some simple objects is all there really is.

 

万花筒*

著:刘墉

 

许多事情,看穿了, 不过是一些简单的人、物而已!

我们小时候都玩过万花筒,透过那些镜子,能够看到数不尽的美丽画面,不停地转,也就不断地变化,其实打碎了,里面只不过是一些彩色的小纸片罢了!

我们的生活也是如此,随着生命的转动,许多事情都是那么多采多姿、交织幻化,其实看穿了,不过是一些简单的人、物而已!

 

* Reprinted with permission from SYZ Studio

Continue reading
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Eunice Lim Ying Ci – Translation of Liu Yong’s ‘The Most Difficult Performance to Give’
April 23, 2018
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March 26, 2018
Eunice Lim Ying Ci – Translation of Liu Yong’s ‘Details and Conclusions’
March 12, 2018
Translation

Ruan Dacheng: Spring Lantern Riddles, or Ten Cases of Mistaken Identity (1633): Scenes 31, 32 & 36a – Translation and introduction by Alison Hardie

Ruan Dacheng (1587-1646) is one of the great late-Ming writers, but his importance as a poet has been undervalued, almost certainly as a result of his political notoriety, which still affects views of him today. However, his outstanding contributions to drama are generally recognised and he is considered one of the leading playwrights of the generation after Tang Xianzu.

Ruan was born into a prosperous official family in Anqing on the Yangtze (now in Anhui province). He studied poetry with his great-uncle, the distinguished poet Ruan Zihua. After obtaining his Presented Scholar (jinshi) degree in 1616, he embarked on an official career, which went well until 1624, when one of the political factions of the time, the Eastern Grove (Donglin), found him to be an obstacle to their plans to dominate the triennial appraisal of officials, whereby they hoped to get their own men into power in the government. Although Ruan had previously had some links with the Eastern Grove (his father-in-law was a leading member), he was unwilling to stand aside for their convenience, and appears to have solicited support from the chief eunuch of the emperor’s court, Wei Zhongxian, or at least he was later accused of having done so. This strategy worked in the short term, and Ruan received further promotion, but after the feeble Tianqi Emperor died and Wei Zhongxian lost power, Ruan was eventually dismissed from office.

On his return home to Anqing in about 1630, Ruan – already a prolific poet – took up the writing of drama in the chuanqi (as it was known in the Ming) or kunqu style of Chinese opera, to be performed by his family’s private theatrical troupe. The play from which extracts are translated here is the first of his plays to survive. It was published in 1633 by Ruan himself, under his own ‘Hall of Chanting What is in my Heart’ (Yonghuaitang) imprint, with illustrations by the commercial artist Zhang Xiu, a personal friend of Ruan.

The immensely complicated plot of this 40-scene play, Spring Lantern Riddles, or Ten Cases of Mistaken Identity (Shicuoren chundengmi ji), can be briefly summarised as follows: a young student, Yuwen Yan, and a young lady, Wei Yingniang (disguised as a man, ‘Mr Yin’), meet while solving riddles at the Lantern Festival and exchange poems. In darkness, each mistakenly boards the other’s boat; Yuwen Yan had been accompanying his father Yuwen Xingjian to an official position in Xiang county, while Yingniang was accompanying her father to the capital. Yingniang is adopted by Yan’s parents Mr and Mrs Yuwen, but Yingniang’s father Mr Wei has Yan thrown overboard; he is taken for a bandit and put in prison, where he is befriended by a perceptive jailer, Doulu Xun. The Yuwens are misled by the discovery of Yingniang’s maid’s body into thinking their son is dead. Meanwhile, their older son achieves success but his name has been accidentally changed from Yuwen Xi to Li Wenyi, and his parents also change their surname to Li; Yuwen Xi/Li Wenyi marries Yingniang’s sister. Yan, released from prison, discovers he is believed to be a spirit; he changes his name and accompanies his former jailer to the capital (this is the part translated here), where he comes first in the examinations and is betrothed to the Yuwens’ (now the Lis’) ‘daughter’. Once he meets his prospective father-in-law, actually his real father, all is gradually revealed; in a happy ending, Yan and Yingniang are finally united.

Even at the time, readers recognised that the misunderstandings and reversals of fortune suffered by the hero Yuwen Yan were an expression of Ruan’s feelings about his political misfortunes. As his friend the distinguished Shaoxing writer and official Wang Siren observed in his preface to the play: ‘The trend of the times was misdirected, and he met with opprobrium and aroused fear and opposition, so that right and wrong changed places.’ All four of Ruan’s surviving plays, in fact, are concerned with identity and the authentic self; these concepts were of great interest to late-Ming intellectuals in general, but had a particularly personal resonance for Ruan. But despite Ruan’s serious concern with authenticity and identity, this play in particular is full of humour. The misfortunes which beset the hero as a result of others’ misperceptions of his identity – is he a scholar, a bandit, a ghost, a spirit? – combine to form such a tangle that we think it will never be unravelled, and yet Ruan brings it all to a logical and successful conclusion. Along the way we encounter such humorous scenes as those translated here.

 

Scene 31: Disturbance in a Temple

 

Enter the Priest of Huangling Temple.

You have to believe that gods exist; you can’t trust that they don’t. So when someone has asked you a favour, you have to carry it out. When the Doctor of the Five Classics, Mr Li, was here recently, he handed his son’s clothes and a poem over to me, and enjoined me to display them on the Lantern Festival and the fifteenth of the last month of every year, in order to summon his son’s spirit. Now today is the fifteenth of the twelfth month. Acolytes, why don’t you bring out young Master Yuwen’s clothes and the poem and arrange them on the altar till I summon him.

 

Acolytes arrange clothes and poem. Priest bows.

Master Yuwen Yan, today is your birthday, come and partake of your feast.

 

Burns paper money.

The paper turns into white butterflies, without tears to dye them red like azaleas.

Exit.

Enter Yuwen Yan in travelling clothes with a pack and an umbrella.

Wind blowing loud,

Snow like a shroud.

The huntsman stays home;

The bird has flown.

I laugh at heaven’s lord,

This world is too absurd.

When snow has fallen on the Celestial Mountains, the wind from the sea is cold.

How many soldiers on campaign wipe their eyes to look around.

Alas, the human heart is more fickle than water.

Storms arise despite flat calm.

Since I left Brother Doulu’s house, it’s already the fifteenth of the twelfth month, and that’s my birthday: I’m twenty this year. My family are scattered, I’m all alone, and now I’ve run into this snowstorm: it’s absolutely perishing. Still, even though I’m cold and lonely, it’s a lot better than suffering in that dark dungeon. I can see Huangling Temple not far off ahead, and evening’s drawing in, so I’d better slip in there and look for the priest of the temple. After a few days’ rest and in better weather, I can hire a boat and head for Xiang township. Look,

This wretched snow freezes rivers and hills.

Sound of wind howling.

What a wind!

I’m blown along over the ground.

My umbrella spinning round.

Look,

A single spark of a lamp’s red glow.
There’s a rough fence

Shared by a shivering dog and an evening crow.

Here I am at Huangling Temple. The gate is half open, but there’s no-one around. It’s certainly not as lively as at the Lantern Festival.

Brushes snow off his clothes, puts down pack and umbrella, kneels before altar.

Oh Lord, I am Yuwen Yan, and I have come here again to gaze on your glory: I am truly reborn. Today is your follower’s birthday, I pray for your protection in the world beyond.

Gets up and looks around.

Today is the fifteenth of the twelfth month; people must be worshipping, but where has the priest got to?

Notices clothes.

What’s this? Well I never, it’s a suit of clothes. They look like mine.

Picks up clothes and examines them.

Goodness, they actually are mine! How bizarre! How did they get here?

A headscarf in Huayang style

Jacket and robe of red
This belt

I have tied myself; I know its value.
This are the clothes I took off that day on the government boat in the hope of slipping away unnoticed, but I was caught and my clothes seized, and I had no idea what happened to them.

On the boat I stripped, hoping to escape;

They swarmed around and snatched them all.

How dreadful to recall!
I know: after they threw me in the water, the people on the boat must have thought that clothes belonging to a dead man were unlucky and left them on the bank. Then the priest must have found them and brought them here for his own use. What a pity that

Water stains and muddy treads

Have blotted out the fine embroidered threads.
I’m absolutely freezing, and after all they’re my own clothes, I might as well put them on.

Puts on clothes, bows to altar.

If these aren’t my own clothes, they’re a precious gift from the gods.

Notices poem.

What’s this document on the altar-table? Let me open it and have a look. Well, here’s another strange thing: this is the poem I wrote myself and gave to that Mr Yin. How ever did it get here?

When we met in youth

Reciting verse amid the lantern-hung trees

How did the poem come to be an offering to the gods?
I suppose since Mr Yin was drunk the poem must have fallen out of his sleeve and been picked up by the priest. I dare say

His shirt sleeve let in the spring breeze;

His shirt sleeve let in the spring breeze.
I’ll just stow it away safely, and if I ever run into Mr Yin again anywhere I’ll ask him for the poem and see how he explains himself! I’ve been here quite a while now; how come nobody’s appeared? I’d better go in and call them.

An acolyte enters; they collide and fall over. The acolyte sees him and shrieks.

 

Acolyte:

Oh no! Burglars! He’s pinched Master Yuwen’s clothes and put them on! Reverend, hurry!

Yuwen Yan:

Where’s the priest? I’m Mr Yuwen.

 

Priest enters, sees him and is terrified.

 

Priest:

It’s not a burglar, it’s Master Yuwen’s ghost. Come on, everyone, come and chase him away.

 

Priests rush in, hit Yuwen with sticks and drive him away.

 

Quickly, lock the temple gate!

 

They lock gate.

 

Priest:

Fancy such a thing happening. Master Yuwen appeared, as large as life. It must be that because of the mystery over his death, his soul can’t rest, so he came and put the clothes on. What about the poem?

Looks for poem.

 

He’s taken that too.

 

Priests:

What a to-do

It gave us a grue

A ghost appearing and roaming free

A ghost appearing and roaming free

Donning his clothes as living men do

And snatching away the poem too

 

Priest:

 

What shall I do? His parents entrusted the clothes and poem to me; if they ever come this way again and ask to see them, they’ll never believe me if I tell them what happened. They’ll just think I broke my promise and spent their money. Acolytes, can you go outside and have a look around under the plum trees?

Acolytes:

It’s blowing a gale out there, we can’t light a lantern. It’s just coming up to New Year; all the ghosts are on holiday. Our reverend has studied magic and can cast spells, and even he’s afraid to go outside. Let’s get out of here and not wait for him to pick on us.

Close the door and recite the Yellow Court scripture

Never mind whether the plum trees are here or there.

 

Pastiche of Tang poems:

To the clear music of the jade flute the cranes pirouette
As the wind blows through high heaven the gibbons sadly cry
It must be that the soul in spring is transformed into a swallow
Which, longing for home, returns to ascend the homeward-gazing terrace.

 

Scene 32: Name of Lu

 

Enter Yuwen Yan

Indeed:

When fortune fades, gold turns to tin;

When times are awry, ghosts torment men.

Why ever did the priest think I was a ghost? I know, he must have heard that I was thrown off the government boat into the river, and he doesn’t know that I didn’t drown, so I can’t blame him. I was just going to make him a bow; who’d have thought that all his acolytes would start beating me up without giving me a chance to speak. I got such a fright that all I could think of was running away. It must be because the bad aura around my supposed death hasn’t fully dispersed. Now it’s dark and the snowstorm is severe: where can I go for shelter? I’ll just have to knock on the temple gate and explain everything thoroughly so he won’t have any doubts about letting me stay.

Knocks.

Open up! Open up!

No response. Knocks again.

Voice within:

Master Yuwen, your death was mysterious and you have a wrong to be avenged, but it’s nothing to do with our temple. Don’t make a disturbance here. We’ll burn some paper money for you tomorrow.

Yuwen:

They really do believe I’m a ghost. It’s a waste of time knocking; the more I knock the less likely they are to open up. I’ll just have to take shelter under the eaves for the night and explain to them tomorrow. Surely they won’t still have any doubts in broad daylight! But the wind’s really strong, it’s absolutely freezing. This is awful!

Shivers. Enter two beggars.

The north wind doth blow

And we shall have snow

We’ve a stoup but no wine for our cup

We’re hungry and cold

But as we’ve been told

In Maiden’s Temple a feast’s coming up

First beggar:

Mate, it’s not called the Maiden’s Temple now; since Scholar Yuwen’s manifestation it’s been called Yuwen’s Temple.

Both beggars:

In Yuwen’s Temple a feast’s coming up

So there we will go

And the folks will soon know

We’re in need of a bite and a sup.

Exeunt beggars.

Yuwen (listening):

Look at those beggars trudging through the mud on the way to some temple or other. It must be a place that offers lodging, but I’m in such a mess, I didn’t like to ask. And now there are a lot more people coming from over there.

Enter Zou Nianba and his father carrying a banner, Xu Dengsi and his wife and child, with other villagers.

When gods command

We’re all at hand

To tell fortunes and draw lots

For peace and joy

We’ve made a date

To give thanks for kind fate

We’ve made a date

To give thanks for kind fate

Through snow, through hail

We’ll never fail

To give thanks and praise.

Brothers, we’re all going to Master Yuwen’s Temple to give thanks for blessings received. It’s time we were off.

Yuwen stops them.

Friends, there’s a snowstorm and it’s night-time, where are you all going?

Villagers:

You obviously don’t know that we’ve got Master Yuwen’s Shrine here. It’s really efficacious. Whether you draw lots or do automatic writing, it’s as though he’s speaking directly to you. Today’s the fifteenth, and we’ve all received blessings from the spirit, so we’re going to burn incense to him in gratitude.

Yuwen:

Since there’s really a shrine that’s so efficacious, would it be all right if I go along with you, friends, and ask for guidance on my future through automatic writing?

Villagers:

No problem at all, but you must be sincere. Now after a few twists and turns, here we are. Is there a Taoist priestess at home?

Lots and planchette are prepared. Two priestesses enter.

Nine dots of autumn mist in the black sky

Among green blossoms thoughts of return are never-ending

We always lament that the crane steed will not tarry

And ever regret that as we approach the clouds there is still more to say
Welcome, true believers. And who is this?

Villagers:

He’s a visitor in the area; he saw us on the way so he’s come to have his fortune told too, to find out about his future.

Yuwen and priestesses greet each other.

Zou Nianba:

Your reverence, when I got home that day, my father had been released from custody; the magistrate’s court didn’t give him any trouble at all, they only gave him a small fine. Now we’ve made an embroidered banner and brought it to hang in the shrine, and here’s a tael of silver for your reverence.

Priestess:

Thank you very much.

Xu Dengsi:

When I went home last time, I followed what the spirit told me and got my wife to fetch some water from the garden pond at midnight and give it to the child to drink, and sure enough he got better. Today I’ve come with my wife and child to dedicate him to the spirit. We’ve brought two bolts of white cloth: your reverence can use it to make slippers.

Priestess:

I’m a nun, I don’t bind my feet, so I don’t need all that cloth. But your offering is accepted. Everyone, when we strike the bell and drum, pay your respects and give thanks.

Villagers bow.

Clasping the lots

Grasping the slips

Obscurity comes clear

Truth is made manifest

Alarm turns to safety

Lawsuits turn out well

Zou and father:

We present our

Colourful banner

 

They bow.

Xu and wife:

As husband and wife

We give our child a new name

Villagers kneel, then stand up.

Priestess:

Believers, this shows your sincere faith. This is a very fine banner. Acolytes, hang it up.

Xu and wife:

Your reverence, please choose a religious name for our child.

Priestess, placing hands on child’s head:

What a sweet child. Let’s call him Purple Protection. The presiding spirit of our temple is the husband of Our Lady the Purple Maiden, so we’ll name him Purple Protection. [Addresses spirit.] Great Spirit, Lord Yu, protect and bless Purple Protection; let him grow to adulthood without trouble and live to be a hundred.

Xu and wife express thanks. Yuwen Yan (aside):

So the spirit is really this efficacious. I’d better use a few coins from the travelling expenses that Mr Doulu gave me, not to cast lots but to request a response in automatic writing, to find out about my future career.

Looks out money and turns round.

Your reverence, I am alone and in distress, with no fixed abode, but as I’m now fortunate enough to have reached this shrine, I must have some good karma from a previous life. I have a small amount of incense money here; I would be most grateful if you would act as a medium for the Purple Maiden. If her prophecy comes true, I will return and show my gratitude.

Priestess:

Your offering is accepted, but you know the way we do automatic writing here is very peculiar; it’s quite different from other temples. There, the priestesses act as mediums for Purple Maiden, but here I act as a medium for Purple Maiden’s husband. The first answer is written with a brush suspended by a string, but if you have further questions, you know the spirit was originally an intellectual, so he’s a bit lazy, and we have to hold the brush for him to write. I thought I’d better tell you in advance; I hope you don’t mind me speaking so frankly.

Yuwen:

He’s a great spirit, of course there’s no question of criticising him.

Priestess:

All right then, sir, you pray and make your wish silently, and I’ll offer up some spells for you to request the spirit to descend.

Yuwen kneels and prays. Priestess lays out paper below the brush. Music within. Priestess recites prayer, and burns paper with spell.

Priestess:

Normally he comes as soon as you pray to him. How strange that there’s no response this time. Perhaps this woman has brought some uncleanness into the temple.

Xu’s wife:

We came to give thanks today: I had a bath first. Of course I wouldn’t bring any uncleanness.

Priestess repeats the burning of the spell. The string holding the brush is burnt; the brush starts to write by itself. Villagers kneel in amazement. When the brush stops moving, Yuwen picks up the paper and reads:

You are a man of learning.

Yuwen nods.

Teaching among the foremost.
I’ve never taught at all, it’s my father who is the Education Supervisor.

Priestess:

Father and son are one flesh, it comes to the same thing.

Yuwen continues reading:

Enduring many sorrows

And countless hardships.

Yuwen weeps.

Indeed, indeed. That’s quite right.

From now on you will escape from your toils

Your fame and glory will gradually become manifest.
I should be so lucky!

You, young scholar,

Remember my words

Far off in the future

They will come true.

Yuwen bows to express gratitude.

That’s very clear advice, thank you for your guidance. But may I request you, great spirit, to sign your noble name, so that if I do indeed achieve distinction, I will be able to inscribe a suitable document to go with the banner which I will dedicate in gratitude.

Priestess:

Sir, I explained before that if you have a further question, the spirit will write through the medium of myself and my acolytes, otherwise he can’t be bothered.

Yuwen:

As you wish.

Priestess and acolytes hold the brush and write. Enter beggars asking for food. Yuwen watches as priestess writes.Yuwen reads:

A visitor from the Isles of the Blest

A spirit from the Cave Court

Well, obviously he’s a senior spirit.

I happened to fall asleep, drunk, at a banquet of peaches

The Queen Mother of the West was enraged

The Lord of the East had to calm her down

And so I was exiled to spend a time in the world of men

Yuwen:

How remarkable, so he was incarnated to spend time in the human world, but it seems that he ascended from the world to be a spirit again. May I ask your name?

Brush moves again. Yuwen reads:

Consort of the Purple Maiden

Yuwen Yan.

Surprised, Yuwen speaks aside:

What an extraordinary thing! Can he really have exactly the same name as me? It’s a bit suspicious. Let me inquire further.

Turns and speaks:

May I ask where you were born in the human world? What sort of family were you born to? And later, how did you meet your end? Kindly explain in detail.

Priestess:

Nobody’s ever asked more than one extra question, or two at the most.

Yuwen:

I have a good reason for asking, if you don’t mind holding the brush again.

Priestess:
If you annoy the spirit, he’ll lose his temper and start scribbling.

Brush moves wildly.

What did I tell you?

Yuwen takes paper and reads quickly, gives a start.

From Wushan county

A well-born student

On an official mission to Xiang township we moored here

Viewing the lanterns I returned to my boat as the moonlight grew dim

And boarded another family’s boat by mistake

Losing my footing

I fell on to the waterside

And so it was that I was paired with a water spirit

And manifested my power
Tut tut, I must really be possessed! Here I am, Yuwen Yan from Wushan county, as large as life, wasting my time bowing down to a miserable bit of stick.

Tears up paper, kicks planchette.

This witch and her cantrips

These ghosts and their antics

Try to cheat us and fleece us

I’m Yuwen Yan

Here in the flesh

Not some Maiden’s Consort

Wielding paper and pen

Priestess, indignantly:

Everybody, you see this disreputable trouble-maker vandalising our shrine without any reason. When our holy Lord Yuwen’s body was laid out in this temple, I myself agreed with his butler that I would arrange the coffin. And not long ago, the Doctor of the Five Classics, Mr Li, undertook the burial. The spirit has been dead to the world for over a year; he couldn’t just appear in the flesh again. If he won’t believe me, fetch lanterns and we’ll drag him round the side of the shrine to have a look at the grave.

They manhandle Yuwen.

Villagers:

He’s obviously a trouble-maker. We should never have brought him here to insult the shrine.

They drag Yuwen towards the grave.

Priestess:

Acolytes, brush the snow off the gravestone. Look, everybody!

They look. Priestess reads:

‘Here lies Yuwen Yan, scholar of the Tang dynasty, from Wushan county.’ And below is a line of smaller characters: ‘Erected by Doctor of the Five Classics Li Xingjian.’

Villagers:

You scoundrel, what do you say to that?

They hit him. Yuwen calls out:

Heavens, Heavens, what can I say? Can there be such injustice in heaven or on earth? Here I am alive and well, and someone else’s body has been buried here as me. And I don’t know who this Li Xingjian is who put up the gravestone. This rotten priestess is using spirits and wonders to swindle all these people, and now they’re all beating up the real, living Yuwen Yan. Oh God, what strange events!

Villagers:

The fellow must be a madman! The inscription on the gravestone is as clear as clear, and he still tries to deny it.

An impressive tomb

An impressive tomb

A gravestone with words inscribed

Who is this addlepate

Who claims he’s Yuwen Yan

And dares a spirit to impersonate?

Two beggars:

You’re spot on, everyone.

We came with one wish

But you’ve lost us our dish

We’ll take you to court

And you’ll eat what you ought!

Villagers leave, cursing Yuwen. Beggars drag him off. Enter Doulu Xun on horseback with attendants.

The mountain pass was frozen

My horse would not advance

In clearing rain, at cockcrow, early I ply my whip.
I have spent the night here at a lodging in Huangling Post Station. There has been a great fall of snow overnight, but luckily the weather has cleared this morning, so I must be on my way.

Sounds within of fighting and cries of ‘Yuwen Yan!’

Where do these shouts come from

And cries of ‘Yuwen Yan’?
Oh, in the distance I can see two beggars dragging a man along who looks like my old friend Yuwen Yan; what’s going on?

Beggars drag Yuwen Yan on stage.

Beggars:

Sir, yesterday evening he was telling lies, pretending to be a spirit, and he prevented us getting a meal.

Yuwen:

It was you who said I was a spirit; what do you mean I pretended to be one?

Doulu approaches and shouts at the beggars:

This man’s my friend: what do you miserable beggars mean by dragging him about?

Beats beggars and drives them off. Greets Yuwen.

Brother, what’s been going on here?

Yuwen:

Elder brother, don’t let’s talk about it, I might as well be dead!

Yuwen jumps into river. Doulu seizes hold of him.

Yuwen:

I deliver up my life to the Yellow Springs

Then I will have no more troubles

Doulu holds on and questions him. Yuwen, weeping, explains:

After I left you, I ran into a great snowstorm. Yesterday was my birthday, and I was planning to go to the Huangling Temple to look for the priest whom I originally met so that I could stay there for a few days; then once the weather had cleared I could hire a boat and travel to Xiang township to find my parents. But to my surprise, when I reached the temple, they all thought I was a ghost, beat me up and drove me out. I suppose they’d heard that the Cabinet Minister had thrown me off his boat and thought I’d drowned, so they were suspicious; I can’t really blame them. But imagine this: when I got to this shrine here, where there were a number of people giving thanks for their blessings, and having their fortunes told by lots or automatic writing, I used the travelling expenses which you so kindly gave me to pay the priestess to tell my fortune, and the hanging brush wrote a paper saying that I would gain fame and fortune.

Doulu:

That’s remarkable. I ought to go and have my fortune told too, to see how my mission will turn out.

Yuwen:

What happened next was really ridiculous. I asked the spirit for his name, so that if my fortune came true I could write a document to dedicate a banner in gratitude. And whose name do you think he wrote?

Doulu:

Whose?

Yuwen:

He wrote my own name!

Doulu:

He might just have the same name as you, you never know.

Yuwen:

It got even more ridiculous: when I asked in more detail about his place of origin and family, they were exactly the same as mine. So I got upset and kicked over the planchette, and then the priestess and the people called me a trouble-maker who’d vandalised their shrine. I was furious and got in an argument with them. It really was the most extraordinary thing.

Doulu:

If that wasn’t extraordinary, I don’t know what is!

Yuwen:

When the priestess heard me arguing my case, she had torches lit and she and the congregation took me round the side of the shrine. There was a big tomb there with a gravestone on top, and when the snow was swept off so we could read it, it actually said: ‘Here lies Yuwen Yan, scholar of the Tang dynasty, from Wushan county.’ And beside this was a line of smaller characters saying ‘Erected by Doctor of the Five Classics Li Xingjian’. When I saw this I was so angry I couldn’t utter a word to ask them to investigate. I don’t know whose body has been mistaken for mine, and I can’t think what induced this Doctor of the Five Classics Li Xingjian to come and bury it and put up a gravestone. Brother, have you ever heard of such a bizarre thing, past or present? Because of the rumpus after I kicked over that wretched planchette, those beggars, who were hoping to get in on the feast, didn’t manage to get any of the food and drink from the shrine, so they’ve been manhandling me all night, and this morning they were going to drag me off to court as a trouble-maker. If I hadn’t run into you, brother, I’d have been in trouble yet again. I can’t complain about them, though: it’s all because of my terrible bad luck, which has caused me so many problems. Now I’m too ashamed to face my parents; I might as well throw myself in the river and drown rather than go on suffering in this life.

I’m like the Liaohai crane

Returning alone

The city survives

But the people are gone

Doulu:

I can’t make head or tail of this. I would have liked to take you to the magistrate and explain everything, in order to clear up your case and put right all the terrible wrongs that people have done you. But it’s nearly the end of the year, and I’ve got to get to the capital. Brother, if you’re too ashamed to go to Xiang township, the coming year is one of the big examination years; why don’t you come with me to the capital and make a name for yourself, and then you can still go and see your parents?

Next year will be

A year of great competition

We should spur on to submit three prize-winning essays

Yuwen:

Even if you’re kind enough to take me with you, I haven’t got any place there where I could submit my documents, and there’s no-one to act as my sponsor. I’m such a poor unfortunate soul, they’re bound to inquire into my origins: not only will I not gain fame and fortune, I’ll most likely be accused of impersonation. What’s more, ‘Yu Jun’ is known as the name of a criminal, and now ‘Yuwen Yan’ is supposed to be a ghost: they’re both unlucky names. The only good end I can come to is death.

Doulu, considering:

I know! We’re already sworn brothers, so you just change your surname to Lu after my name Doulu. I’ve got documents here to be delivered to the capital with recommendations for promotion for people from Zhijiang county, so if you’re included in this patronage, there won’t be any question of an investigation. There’s nothing to stop you coming with me: don’t miss this opportunity!

Yuwen, thoughtfully:

That’s a good suggestion. If I go with you to the capital, even if I’m not successful in the exam, at least it’s a trip in your company. It’s all thanks to you that I’ve gained a new life; I’ll call myself Lu Gengsheng, Born-Again Lu.
The surname Lu comes from a man of authority
I’ll take on the personal name Born-Again

Doulu prays:

Heavenly Lord, Heavenly Lord, bless and preserve Born-Again Lu. Let his troubles be over and happiness come to him, and let him now gain first place in the examinations.

Let us go to Chang’an

Leave the old for the new

And take the first place

Yuwen:

I feel deep gratitude for

The benefactor from my former life

Who has saved me again from trouble and strife

Doulu:

Attendants, take the luggage off that packhorse and carry it yourselves, and saddle up the packhorse for Mr Lu to ride.

Attendants unload luggage, Yuwen mounts.

Yuwen:

I’ve suddenly remembered that lantern riddle, and now I’ve unintentionally found the answer. How strange! It said

A mule paired with a horse

But without its other half
Sure enough, my sworn brother has changed my surname to Lu [written the same as the character for ‘mule’ but without the ‘horse’ radical]. On this journey, surely

The criminal will become Mr Nobody

Offered up to the Imperial Park

Pastiche of Tang poems:

Before I could express gratitude for his kindness, we were divided like life from death
On a chance encounter I enquired about my future course
In cold weather and evening rain in uninhabited hills
I still have someone who is ready to sing for me a song of travel

 

Scene 36a: Watch this Space

 

Narrator:

Dear audience, in this scene, the thirty-seventh, we ought to show the Third Metropolitan Graduate Li Wenyi, on his way back to court after defeating Yeluohe, passing by Huangling Temple, where he happens to meet Doulu Xun who’s there on official business. At this time Li Wenyi intends to go to pay his respects at his brother Yuwen Yan’s tomb, but Doulu Xun explains the whole story of how in fact Yuwen Yan didn’t die, but changed his name to Born-Again Lu, and has become the top Metropolitan Graduate. He gives a letter from Yuwen Yan to Li Wenyi to open in person. When Li Wenyi sees it he is overjoyed and thanks Doulu Xun; he includes Doulu Xun’s name in his report on his victory and promotes him to Usher in the Court of State Ceremonial, and they travel to the capital together. This is another remarkable sequence of events. However, the gentleman responsible for writing the script hasn’t actually written it yet.

A voice within:

Why hasn’t he completed it yet?

Narrator, striking gong:

This play is really far too complicated; he’s afraid if he wrote the script for this scene he would get into trouble.

Voice within:

Trouble with who?

Narrator:

Trouble with Chaos. So he’s leaving this bit for now, and he’ll fill it in later on.

Voice within:

How much later on?

Narrator:

All in good time; just wait till the time when his parents have reached the venerable age of 100, and then he’ll complete the old songs and write some new ones. Now would the Doctor of the Five Classics please come on stage, in order for the top Metropolitan Graduate to be introduced as son-in-law and recognise his parents. Before I’ve even finished, here comes Li Xingjian!

 

[Exit]

 

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Translation

Eunice Lim Ying Ci – Translation of Liu Yong’s ‘Coffeehouse’

Coffeehouse

 

In the bustling city, we often stumble upon elegant coffeehouses with their warm lights and soothing music. We step in and the cacophony of the streets are left to the world beyond the thick glass doors. We can sink ourselves into comfortable chairs, enjoy the music, and sip our drinks. All is well with the world. Yet eventually, work demands our attention. Emerging from the open doors once again, we invite the clamorous world back in.

This is the image of modern day serenity.

Not a reclusive life in the idyllic mountains and forests, far from the madding crowd. But a search for serenity, time and again, between the narrow spaces of a tumultuous world.

 

咖啡室

著:刘墉

 

现代人的宁静就是在喧器与扰攘之间,寻找宁静。

 

在繁华的市区我们常可以见到幽雅的咖啡室,有着和谐的灯光与柔美的音乐,当我们跨入其中,街道上的喧闹就被摒出了厚厚的玻璃门外。这时我们可以坐在舒适的座椅上,一边啜着饮料,一面欣赏音乐,十分地惬意。但是当我们工作的时间到了,推开门,迎来的又是一片嘈杂的世界。

现代人的宁静就是如此,不是遁隐山林,离开人群,而是在喧器与扰攘之间,寻找宁静。

 

* Reprinted with permission from SYZ Studio

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Eunice Lim Ying Ci – Translation of Liu Yong’s ‘Kaleidoscope’
April 9, 2018
Eunice Lim Ying Ci – Translation of Liu Yong’s ‘Details and Conclusions’
March 12, 2018
Translation

Eunice Lim Ying Ci – Translation of Liu Yong’s ‘Details and Conclusions’

Details and Conclusions

 

On the first day of medical school, a professor tells his class, “As a doctor, it is of utmost importance that you are courageous and meticulous.” Having said this, he sticks his finger into a urine sample on his desk, and puts the finger into his mouth. Then, he hands the urine sample over to the students and watches as they suppress their nausea and follow suit, taking turns to give the urine sample a taste.

Finally, he laughs and says, “Very well, all of you have demonstrated that you are courageous enough. But it’s a pity that none of you are meticulous enough. None of you noticed that I reached into the vial with my index finger, but the finger I subsequently placed into my mouth was my middle finger!”

A professor at law school tells a story during his class. Three hunting dogs chase a groundhog. The groundhog ducks into one end of a log, but what emerges from the other end is a rabbit. The rabbit dashes forward at lightning speed and jumps onto a tall tree. However, it loses its footing and falls onto the three hunting dogs that have been watching it from beneath the tree. The three dogs are knocked unconscious by the impact of the rabbit’s fall and so, the rabbit escapes unscathed.

When this story came to an end, many students wants answers to their questions. How could a rabbit climb a tree? How could a rabbit knock three hunting dogs unconscious at the same time?

“The questions you are asking are not too bad and demonstrate just how illogical this story has been”, the professor responds. “But the most important question has yet to be asked – where on earth did the groundhog go?”

A professor of art history is lecturing on the use of colours by ancient artists. By baking a shell, grinding it into a fine powder, and mixing it with glue, one is able to make white paint.

Later, the professor conducts an examination, and one of the questions was a true-or-false question.

“If you picked up a seashell by the beach, placed it in a furnace, baked it at five hundred degrees for thirty minutes, removed it from the furnace, ground it into powder, and then mixed the powder with glue, you will get black paint.”

Most of the students confidently circled ‘True’ before they had even finished reading the statement.

By paying attention to conclusions and neglecting the details, or by focusing on the details and ignoring the conclusions, people reveal a tendency to take for granted their methods of thinking when they are in a hurry and neglect to put in extra effort into verification. This is our common mistake!

 

细节与结论*

著:刘墉

注意结论,而忽略细节,或专注细节而忽略结论,这是人们常犯的错误啊。

有位医学院的教授,在上课的第一天对他的学生说:“当医生,最要紧的是胆大心细!” 说完,便将一只手指伸进桌上的一杯尿液里,再把手指放进自己的嘴中,接着便将那杯尿液递给学生。

看着每个学生都忍着呕,照样把探人尿杯的手指塞进嘴里,教授笑嘻嘻地说:“不错,你们每个人都够胆大,只可惜不够细心,没有注意到到我探人尿杯的是食指,放进嘴里的却是中指啊!

有位法学院的教授,上课时说了一个故事:有三只猎狗追一只土拨鼠,土拨鼠钻进一个树洞,居然从树洞的另一边跑出了一只兔子,兔子飞快地向前跑,并跳上一棵大树,却在树枝上没站稳,掉了下来,压晕了正仰头看的猎狗,兔子终于逃脱。

故事讲完,许多学生提出他们的疑问:

兔子为什么会爬树呢?

一只兔子怎么可能同时压晕三条猎狗呢!

“这些问题都不错,显示了故事的不合理。” 教授说,“可是,更重要的事情,你们却没问 – 土拨鼠到哪里去了?”

有位教美术史的教授,在谈到古代国画家使用的颜料是说:“将贝壳烧烤之后,磨成细粉,再以胶水调和,可以做成白色的颜料。”

接着,教授便举行考试,其中有一道是非题;如果你在海边捡到了贝壳,带回家放进烤箱,以五百度烤上三十分钟,再拿出来磨成细粉,以胶水调和,可以做成黑色颜料。

结果大部分学生都没有看完这个题目,便十分自信地答“是”。

注意结论,而忽略细节;或专注细节而忽略结论。匆匆忙忙地,以自己想当然的方法去思想,却忽略了查证的功夫,这是人们常犯的错误啊!

 

* Reprinted with permission from SYZ Studio

Continue reading
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April 23, 2018
Eunice Lim Ying Ci – Translation of Liu Yong’s ‘Kaleidoscope’
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March 26, 2018
Translation

Yu Yan Chen – translations of two poems by Zheng Xiaoqiong

 

Yu Yan Chen is a poet and literary translator. Her poems and literary translations have appeared in the US, UK and China. Her first collection of original poetry, Small Hours, was published by New York Quarterly Books in 2011. Her translation of The Chief Cellist, a children’s book by Taiwanese author Wang Wenhua, was published by Balestier Press. She currently resides in Singapore.

 

Zheng Xiaoqiong (郑小琼) was born in rural Sichuan in 1980 and moved to Dongguan City in southern Guangdong Province as a migrant worker in 2001. She is the author of eleven collections of poetry, including Women Migrant Workers, Huang Maling, The Rose Manor, Selected Poems by Zheng Xiaoqiong, Pure Plants, and Pedestrian Overpass. Women Migrant Workers (2012) has been hailed as “the first symphonic verse on women, work and capital in the history of Chinese poetry.” Her works have garnered numerous accolades including China’s Avant-garde Poetry Prize, 2006, People’s Literature Award, Zhuang Zhong Literary Award; the In-Presence Cutting-Edge Prose Award, and the Lu Xun Literary Award, among others. Some of her poems have been translated into German, English, French, Japanese, Korean, Spanish and Turkish. Her poems in Women Migrant Workers have also been set to music by American and German musicians and performed in a number of countries.  

Assembly Line

 

What flows on the assembly line is streams of people

from the east or the west, standing or sitting, in blue uniforms and white caps,

at workstations for their fingers, with names of A234, A967, and Q36 …

 

Some insert themselves to put on springs and screws.

They drift in and out of the constant flows of people and products.

Like fishes, they pull customer orders, profits and the GDP

day and night. While their youth, vision, and dream

push the prosperity of the industrial age forward.

 

Amid the factory noise, they carry a lonely existence.

Men and women flow into each other, but remain strangers.

They are constantly choked at the deep end. Only glues, screws,

nails, plastics, coughing lungs, and sickened bodies float on top.

 

The assembly line never stops tightening the valves of the city and the fate,

tightening the yellow switches, red threads and grey products, the fifth carton

loaded with plastic lamps and Christmas trees, youth on the work cards, Li Bai,

love that boils and cools. It might recite softly – oh, wanderlust!

 

Within its tiny confine, I catch a glimpse of the movable fate

and scribble down some poetry of industrial age in the southern city.

 

~

 

 

The Distance

 

 

Pain is wearing out the clothes flickering in the light

as the dimly lit train roars across the dark night.

 

Our doors are open, towards the unspeakable years,

while the river rushes to a deeper source of our origins.

 

Light drifts in from every direction like snow. You read the old news

and the new tales in the papers, those published, distant happiness.

 

All alone, I plow through the snow, on the road to resentment,

when a tree falls down diagonally near me.

 

This is the strange land, the end of the year, I am taking a stroll,

searching for my lines and tone on the go.

 

                                                                   

流水线

 

在流水线的流动中  是流动的人

他们来自河东或者河西,她站着坐着,编号,蓝色的工衣

白色的工帽,手指头上工位,姓名是A234、A967、Q36……

或者是插中制的,装弹弓的,打螺丝的……

在流动的人与流动的产品中穿行着,

她们是鱼,不分昼夜的拉动着

老板的订单,利润,GDP,青春,眺望,美梦

拉动着工业时代的繁荣

流水的响声中,从此她们更为孤单的活着

她们,或者他们,相互流动,却彼此陌生

在水中,她们的生活不断呛水,剩下手中的镙丝,塑胶片

铁钉,胶水,咳嗽的肺,染上职业病的躯体,在打工的河流中

流动

流水线不断拧紧城市与命运的阀门,这些黄色的

开关,红色的线,灰色的产品,第五个纸箱

装着塑胶的灯、圣诞树、工卡上的青春、李白

发烫的变凉的爱情,或者低声地读着:啊,流浪!

在它小小的流动间,我看见流动的命运

在南方的城市低头写下工业时代的绝句或者乐府  

 

 

~

距离

 

多少疼痛在磨损,移动在光线中的衣装

光线暗淡的火车长鸣在黑夜里

 

我们开着房门,向着莫名的岁月

河流正朝着我们的身世更深的地方奔涌

 

光像雪从各个方向吹来,你抬头看报纸里旧新闻

新故事,那些刊载的距离的幸福

 

我一个人在雪中经过,在通往恨与怨的路上

一棵树斜穿过,靠近我

 

这是异乡,这是岁末,我走着

在路上找着属于我的句子与语气

 

(Reprinted with permission from the author)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Translation

Yu Yan Chen – a translation of “Twenty Centimeters to Spring” by Li Juan

Yu Yan Chen is a poet and literary translator. Her poems and literary translations have appeared in the US, UK and China. Her first collection of original poetry, Small Hours, was published by New York Quarterly Books in 2011. Her translation of The Chief Cellist, a children’s book by Taiwanese author Wang Wenhua, was published by Balestier Press. She currently resides in Singapore.

 

Li Juan (李娟) was born in 1979 in Xinjiang Province. She spent her childhood in remote towns in both Sichuan and Xinjiang. She used to work on the assembly line, but became a government employee at a later time. In 2007 she resigned to write full time. Her works center on her sensitive meditations while living among the Kazakh nomads of the Altay region. Her prose collections include Nine Chapters of Snow, Corners of Altay, My Altay, Please Sing Out Loud while Traveling through the Night, and Remember Little, Forget MoreCorners of Altay has been translated into French and Korean. She has also won a number of prestigious awards including the People’s Literature Award, Zhu Ziqing Prose Prize, Mao Dun Literature Prize, and Shanghai Literature Prize, among others. She currently lives in Altay, Xinjiang. 

 

Preface

Corners of Altay is a series of essays depicting Li Juan’s experiences in the Kazakh-speaking region of the Xinjiang Province in western China. In the 1990’, she and her mother, one of the few ethnic Han people living in the Gobi Desert, first operated a tailor shop, then a nomadic grocery store for their equally mobile customers. They would follow the herds in the summer, but they would fend off the winter by staying put in a temporary abode. This piece is about a pet rabbit as the season turns. 

 

Twenty Centimeters to Spring

Li Juan

 

We spoke in broken Kazakh to do business with our customers, and although they only understood it vaguely, we would always achieve what we wanted. It didn’t matter that we didn’t speak their language, as long as we were able to find a way to be understood, everything would turn out all right. Otherwise, we would have to rely on imagination to guess what they wanted.

 

At first, I had no idea how to use imagination to help, and getting one small item sold would seem strenuous. I had to point at items from one end of the shelf to the other and from the bottom up to the top, while asking, “Is this the one? How about that? This one? That one?”

 

After much commotion, all the customer wanted was perhaps a box of matches worth ten cents.

 

As usual, my mother enjoyed handling matters based on her understanding. Although I felt she had misunderstood things on many levels, what she did based on those wrong impressions often ended up correct, so I can’t really complain much.

 

Now let’s talk about the snow rabbit.

 

It was a snowy winter’s night. Although it was late, we continued to toil away quietly while hovering around the stove.  From time to time we would drift into a conversation about things that happened long ago. Suddenly the door was pushed open and someone came in with a thick cloud of freezing air and fog. We asked him what he wanted, but this gentle looking person couldn’t make himself understood after a long and convoluted explanation. We finally gave up on him and continued with our work. At last, he sank into deep thought and came up with a straightforward question, “Do you want a dzeren?”

 

“A dzeren?” We were surprised.

 

“Yes, a live dzeren.”

 

This time, we were even more surprised.

 

By then my mother and her apprentice Jianhua had begun to talk about where to keep the animal. Before I could respond, they had made up their mind that the coal shed would be the best place for it.

 

“What do we raise a dzeren for?” I asked.

 

“Who knows, let’s get it first.”

 

Having said that, my mother turned to that gentle looking person, “What’s your lowest offer?”

 

“Ten Yuan.”

 

We were taken by surprise for the third time, because ten Yuan would not be enough.  Although dzeren literary means yellow sheep in Chinese, it is really a wild animal as beautiful as a deer, which makes it much bigger than a sheep.

 

I immediately joined their camp, “That’s right, after we buy the yellow sheep, I am going to ask for some feed from Ahan, because he hasn’t paid us for the flour since spring…”

 

Our excitement delighted the visitor too.  In fact, he was almost proud of himself. Afraid that he might change his mind, my mother went to the counter immediately to get the money. She even added, “My good fellow, if you have more yellow sheep later on, please don’t forget to bring them to us again. We will want as many as possible. Don’t ever take them elsewhere. It would be a waste of time to do that, because besides us, no one else would want them…”

 

After paying him, all of us followed him outside for the yellow sheep.

A boy stood in the snow. His jacket bulged, and something was wrapped inside.

 

“Oh, a baby yellow sheep.”

 

The child gradually unbuttoned his jacket.

 

“Oh, the yellow sheep is white.”

 

 

This was what happened: in a snowy winter’s night, we bought a wild rabbit rather foolishly for ten Yuan. If it were other people, ten Yuan could have fetched at least three rabbits.

 

I started out this piece talking about misunderstandings, this was precisely the point.

 

Nevertheless, we had bought the rabbit and we were all enchanted by it, so there was no complaint. It was worthy of the ten Yuan we had spent! It was almost as big as a baby sheep, and therefore much bigger than the rabbits sold for three or four Yuan each. Besides, it was amazingly alive, unlike the ones sold to others, which were usually frozen solid.

 

It even had blue eyes. Whose rabbits have blue eyes anyway? (I learned much later that all of the wild rabbits have blue eyes. Only house rabbits have red eyes.) This species is also called the “snow rabbit,” as white as snow, so bright and shiny that if it were lying in the snow, there would be no way to spot it. However, I heard that as the weather gets warmer, the rabbit’s fur would gradually take on a muddy hue, which would blend in well with the Gobi Desert while running around.

 

With such a clever disguise, why did it still get caught? Perhaps it was still not strong enough. It was absolutely outrageous for people to set traps – we couldn’t help but curse that gentle looking person whenever we saw the scars on the rabbit’s hind legs, which were clamped by the trap.

 

We found a metal cage, put the rabbit in the corner of the coal shed, and checked on it many times a day. All it would do was stay still in the cage, forever chewing on half a frozen carrot. Grandma visited the rabbit most often. Sometimes she even stole the popcorn from the shelf to feed it. She would say to the rabbit, “Rabbit, it is such a pity that you are all alone…”

 

Whenever I overheard those words, I couldn’t help but feel sad. All of a sudden, I could also sense the plight of this poor rabbit, and Grandma’s situation wasn’t any better either… It was always so cold. All she could do was to put on layers and layers of clothing, which made her bulgy and bulky. She hardly went anywhere except to hover near the stove all day long. Ever since we had the rabbit, she started to make trips between our grocery store and the coal shed. With her hands holding onto the wall for support, she would walk gingerly back and forth on the same path as she moved about the icy ground. Sometimes she would cover her ears with her hands, sometimes she would hide her hands in her pockets.

 

How dreadful the winter was!

 

Yet, how lovely it was to be inside our house, so warm and cozy. Even though the coal shed was dark and dirty, but it beat being outside in the freezing cold. We were affectionate with the rabbit and fed it whatever we ate. Soon it grew fat and languid, with its deep blue eyes shinier than ever. If anyone dared to suggest stir-frying our pet rabbit and making it into different dishes, we would not hesitate to hate this person.

 

We loved this rabbit to bits, but we didn’t dare to let it roam freely. What if it escaped? Without any food, it would probably starve to death in the cold. Perhaps it would be captured by the villagers again. In our mind, it would have the best life in our house under our care.

 

We loved the rabbit so much that my mother would often stick her hands in through the openings of the metal cage to stroke it slowly. The creature would tremble slightly, burying its head deep between its two front paws, while the long ears drooped down flatly on the ground.

 

There was no way for it to hide from us, because there was nowhere to go. But we didn’t have any bad intentions, and how could we have made it understand?

 

As time passed, the weather gradually got warmer. Although it was still cold, the worst part of the winter was behind us. To our surprise, we noticed some muddy furs on the snow white rabbit! Apparently, it could detect the arrival of spring much more sharply than we did.

 

Then one day, we discovered that this depressed rabbit had escaped and we were sad and surprised at the same time.

 

But how did it escape? Where could it have gone? After all, there was snow everywhere in the village; there were people and dogs everywhere; where could this rabbit go to hunt for food?

 

We searched around in the vicinity of the yard, until it took us far away from the house, but there was not a single trace of the rabbit. For a long while we would search anxiously in the snow piled high on both sides of the road whenever we went out. We even put some cabbage in an obvious place in front of our house, hoping that the rabbit would find its way back. Days passed, and no one had the heart to clear it away even though it had turned frozen solid.

 

Meanwhile, the empty metal cage continued to occupy the same spot in the shed, as though it were waiting for the rabbit’s return – as though it would one day reappear inside the cage, just as mysteriously as its sudden disappearance.

 

Then the rabbit really did appear inside the cage again…

 

It was about a month after it went missing. We had taken off our thick jackets and walked about light-heartedly, awakened to the thoughts of accomplishing a plethora of things. We took down the felts and the plastics covering the windows, rolled up the heavy cotton curtains hanging on the doors, and stored them underneath the beds to be used next winter. We even cleaned up the coal shed and straightened the pieces that had fallen off.

 

Then we saw the rabbit again.

 

Let me point out that the metal cage remained by the foot of the wall in a dark corner all this time. One would have to stare at it for quite some time in order to see any movements. If it were a rabbit with snow white fur, you would be able to spot it right away. Yet, we had been going back and forth for several days, before we realized that there was something alive inside. Still, I wasn’t sure, for it could have been something dead. It was curled up in the far end of the cage. And when I looked at it some more, I was able to make out its form. “Isn’t that our rabbit?” What used to be a coat of thick and smooth fur was by then thin and scattered. It was wet and dirty, and I couldn’t even make out its face.

 

I am usually afraid of dead things, but I worked up the courage to touch the rabbit with my hands. Its body was a bag of bones and nearly given up. I had no idea whether it was still alive because there was no sign of the rabbit breathing. I grew even more scared, for I believed that a creature about to die can be scarier than a dead one. As death descends on it, its soul is probably at its most volatile and most vengeful. I ran away quickly and told my mother, and she rushed back to take a look.

 

“Wow, why did it come back? How did it come back?”

 

From afar, I watched as my mother carried that creature, our rabbit that went missing a month ago out of the cage. She fed it some warm water by wetting its mouth, enticing it to drink, after which she succeeded in getting the rabbit to take the leftover rice porridge we cooked that morning.

 

I wasn’t sure how she was able to revive that snow rabbit. I didn’t dare go through the process with her, because watching alone was scary enough. I have little tolerance for death, especially those dying around me. It makes me feel guilty.

 

Fortunately, our rabbit won the battle and survived. Then it got stronger than ever before. By May, its fur had changed completely into the muddy color fit for Gobi and it hopped around inside the yard, chasing after my Grandma for food.

 

Now, let’s go back and find out what happened exactly. Since the metal cage we used to cover it only had five sides (which meant that the bottom side was empty), and since it was close to the wall, the rabbit simply started digging a secret cave. It was a rabbit after all, an expert at digging holes. The dark shed was filled with loads of random things, but who would have known that there was actually a hole behind the cage? We’d always thought that the rabbit escaped through the biggest opening between the two metal bars!

 

The hole dug by the rabbit was rather narrow, about the width of one’s upper arm. I put my arm in but couldn’t reach the end, so I took a hook used to clear the stove, but even that failed to reach the end. Finally, I used a wire and made a more accurate measurement. It was over two meters long, heading east towards the front gate. If the rabbit had dug another 20 centimeters, it would have reached the outside world.

 

That was unimaginable! When we sat around our table having a warm meal, when we finished a day’s work and began to fall asleep, when we once again found delight in new and fun things, discovering happiness as a result, that rabbit was busy digging alone in the underground, enduring hunger and cold, digging bit by bit with the same movement – the movement towards spring. For an entire month, there was neither day nor night for it. I had no idea how many times the rabbit had to confront its own mortality during that month. It had probably realized the impossible nature of getting out alive, but it continued to sense the approaching spring, however dire the circumstances might be. For that month, it would sometimes slowly crawl back into the cage, looking for something to eat within its confine. But there was nothing, not even a drop of water, except for a layer of icy frost on the wall. So all it could do was to climb up the metal bar and chew on the cardboard box on top of the cage. We discovered much later that the bottom part of the box, wherever it could possibly be reached by the rabbit had been chewed off. It was also eating pieces of coal that had dropped inside the cage. In fact, when it was found, the rabbit’s face and teeth were pitch black. Yet, we remained ignorant about the whole thing. It was only at the brink of its death, that we discovered that the rabbit was there all along!

 

Everyone says that rabbits are timid. But as far as I know, they are brave animals. They face their death without fear, even when captured or trapped. When our rabbit escaped into the hole, despite the hunger and dire circumstances, it remained calm and collected in the face of death. When confronted with life’s many changes, it trembled and struggled perhaps not entirely out of fear, but because it didn’t understand what was going on. What does a rabbit really know then? In a way, all of the creatures of this world exist beyond our comprehension. They elude us, and the communication between us was nearly impossible. No wonder my Grandma would say, “Rabbit, Rabbit, you are such a pity…”

 

How lonely our lives can be even if the spring has already arrived. Our rabbit, on the other hand, is joyfully running inside the yard, its two front paws holding onto my Grandma’s shoes, chewing and biting them like a puppy, as though it had forgotten everything. Compared to us, it seems much more adept at leaving the bad memories behind, and therefore much more capable of experiencing the deeper joy of life.

 

离春天只有二十公分的雪兔

李娟

 

我们用模模糊糊的哈语和顾客做生意,他们也就模模糊糊地理解,反正最后生意总会做成的。不擅于对方语言没关系,擅于表达就可以了,若表达也不擅于,就一定得擅于想象。而我一开始连想象也不会,卖出去一样东西真是难上加难——你得给他从货架这头指到那头:“是这个吗?是这个吗?是这个吗?是这个吗?……”再从最下面一层货架指到最上面一层:“是这个吗?……”这样折腾到最后,对方要买的东西也许只是一毛钱一匣的火柴。

我妈总是喜欢按照自己的理解做事,虽然我总是觉得她在很多地方都理解错了,可是按照这种错误理解所做的事情,做到最后总能变成对的。我也就不好再多说些什么了。

然后说雪兔。

有一个冬天的雪夜,已经很晚了,我们围着火炉很安静地干活,偶尔说一些远远的事情。这时门开了,一个人挟着浓重的寒气和一股子雾进来了。我们问他干什么,这个看起来挺老实的人说了半天也说不清楚,于是我们也不理他了,继续干自己的活。他就一个人在那儿苦恼地想了半天,最后终于组织出了比较明确的表述:“你们要不要黄羊?”

“黄羊?”我们吃了一惊。

“对,活的黄羊。”

我们又吃了一惊。

我妈就立刻开始和建华她们讨论羊应该圈在什么地方。我还没反应过来,她们已经商量好养在煤棚里了。

“真是的,我们养黄羊干什么?”

“谁知道——先买回来再说。”

然后她转身问那个老实人:“最低多少钱卖?”

“十块钱。”

——我们吃了第三惊。黄羊名字里虽说有个“羊”字,其实是像鹿一样美丽的野生动物,体态比羊大多了。

我也立刻支持:“对,黄羊买回来后,我去到阿汗家要草料去——他家春天欠下的面粉钱一直没还……”

见我们一家人都高兴成这样,那个老实人也满意极了,甚至还有些骄傲的样子。我妈怕他反悔,马上去柜台取钱,一边还说:“以后再有了黄羊,还给我们拿来啊,多少我们都要,别人家都不要去……去也是白去,这种东西除了我们谁都不会要的。”

给了钱后我们全家都高高兴兴跟着他出去牵羊。

门口的雪地上站着个小孩子,怀里鼓鼓的,外套里裹着个东西。

“啊,是小黄羊呀。”

小孩把外套慢慢解开。

“啊,是白黄羊呀?”

……

事情就这样,那个冬天的雪夜,我们糊里糊涂用十块钱买回一只野兔子。要是别人家的话,十块钱最少也能买三只。

我前面铺垫了一大堆理解的误区之类的话,这里终于用上一点了。

不管怎么说,买都已经买回来了,我们还是挺喜欢我们这只兔子的,不愧是十块钱买回来的,比别人家那些三四块钱的可是大得多了,跟个羊羔似的。而且还是活的呢,太漂亮了,别人买回来的一般都已经冻得硬邦邦的了。

再而且,它还长着蓝色的眼睛呢!谁家的兔子是蓝眼睛?(但是不好意思的是,后来才知道所有的野兔子都是蓝眼睛的,白色家兔子才红眼睛……)这种兔子又叫雪兔,它的确是像雪一样白的,白得发亮。而且听说到天气暖和的时候,它的毛色还会渐渐变成灰土黄色的,这样,在戈壁滩上跑着的时候,就不那么扎眼了。

既然它的伪装这么高明,那为什么还会被抓住了呢?看来它还是弱的呀。那些下套子的家伙们实在太可恶了——无论什么时候,我们一看到兔子后爪上被夹过的惨重的伤痕就要骂那个老实人几句。

我们找了一个铁笼子,把它扣在煤棚的角落里,每天都跑去看它很多次,它总是安安静静地呆在那儿,永远都在慢慢地啃那半个给冻得硬硬了的胡萝卜头。我外婆跑得更勤,有时候还会把货架上卖的爆米花偷去拿给它吃,还悄悄地对它说:“兔子兔子,你一个人好可怜啊……”我在外面听见了,鼻子一酸,突然也觉得这兔子真的好可怜。又觉得外婆也好可怜……天气总是那么冷,她只好整天穿得厚厚的,鼓鼓囊囊的,紧紧偎在火炉边,哪也不敢去。自从兔子来了以后,她才在商店和煤房之间走动走动。经常可以看到她在去看兔子或从兔子那里回来的路上小心地扶墙走着,遍地冰雪。她有时候会捂着耳朵,有时候会袖着手。

冬天多么漫长……

但是我们家里多好啊,那么暖和,虽然是又黑又脏的煤棚,但总比呆在冰天雪地的外面舒服多了。而且我们一点儿也不亏待它,我们吃什么它也吃什么,很快就把它养得胖胖的,懒懒的,眼珠子越发亮了,幽蓝幽蓝的。要是这时有人说出“你们家兔子炒了够吃几顿几顿”这样的话,我们一定恨死他。

我们都太喜欢这只兔子了,但又不敢把它放出来让它自由自在地玩,要是它溜出去的话,外面那么冷,又没有吃的,它一定会饿死的。而且要是被村子里其他的人逮住了,就更不妙了,我们就相信只有我们家会好好地对它的。

我们真的喜欢这只兔子,我妈常常把手从铁笼子的铁丝缝里伸进去,慢慢地抚摸它柔顺乖巧的身子,它就轻轻地发抖,深深地把头埋下,埋在两条前爪中间,并把两只长耳朵平平地放了下来。

它没法躲,它哪儿也去不了。但是我们真的没有恶意啊,它怎样才能知道呢?

一天一天过去,天气也渐渐暖和一点了,虽然外面还是那么冷,但冬天最冷的时候已经永远地过去。我们也惊奇地注意到白白的雪兔身上,果真一天天、一根根地扎出了灰黄色的毛来——它比我们更先、更敏锐地感觉到了春天的来临。

就在这样一个时候,突然有一天,这只性格抑郁的兔子终于还是走掉了。我们全家人真是又失望又奇怪又难过。

它怎样跑掉的呢,它会跑到哪里去呢?村子里到处都是雪,到处都是人,它到哪里找吃的呢?

我们出去在院子周围细细地寻找,一直找到很远的地方。好长时间过去了,每天出门时,仍不忘在雪堆里四处瞧瞧。我们还在家门口显眼的地方放了块白菜,希望它看到后能够回家,后来,竟然一直都没人最先去把那块冻得邦硬的白菜收拾掉。

那个空空的铁笼子也一直空罩在原地,好像它还在等待有一天兔子会再回来,像它的突然消失一样,会突然从笼子里冒出来。

后来,它居然又重新在笼子里冒出来了……

那时候差不多已经过去一个月了吧,那时候我们都把老棉衣换下来了,一身轻松地干这干那的,窗户上蒙的毡子呀、塑料布呀什么的都扯下来了,棉门帘也收起来卷在床底下。我们还把煤房好好地拾掇了一下,把塌下来的煤堆重新码了码。

就在这时,我们又重新看到了兔子。

顺便说一下,煤房的那个铁笼子一直扣在暗处的角落里的,定睛看一会儿才能瞧清楚里面的动静,要是有兔子的话,它雪白的皮毛一定会非常扎眼,一下子就可以看到的。但是,我们过来过去好几天,才慢慢注意到里面似乎有个活物,甚至不知是不是什么死掉的东西,它一动不动蜷在铁笼子最里面,定睛仔细地看,这不是我们的兔子是什么!它浑身原本光洁厚实的皮毛已经给蹭得稀稀拉拉的,身上又潮又脏,眉目不清的。我害怕死掉的东西,但还是斗胆伸手进去摸了一下——一把骨头,只差没散开了。不知道还有没有气,看上去这身体也丝毫没有因呼吸而起伏的感觉。我更加害怕——比起死去的东西,我尤其最怕这种将死未死的,总觉得就在这样的时刻,它的灵魂最强烈,最仇恨似的。我飞奔地跑掉了,跑去商店找我妈,我妈也急急跑来看——

“呀,它怎么又回来了?它怎么回来的?……”

我远远地看着她小心地把那个东西——我们已经失踪了一个月的兔子弄出来,然后用温水触它的嘴,诱它喝下去,又想办法让它把早上剩下的稀饭吃下去。

至于他们具体怎么去救活这只雪兔的,我不清楚,我实在不忍心全程陪同到底,我在旁边看着都发毛。我实在不能忍受死亡。尤其是死在自己身边的东西,一定是有自己罪孽在里面……

不过好在后来,这兔子还是挣扎着活了过来,而且还比之前更壮实了一些,五月份时,它的皮毛完全换成土黄色的了,在院子里高高兴兴地跑来跑去,追着我外婆要吃的。

现在再来说到底是怎么回事——我们用来罩住那只兔子的铁笼子只有五面,也就是说下面是空的,而且又靠着墙根,于是兔子就开始在那里打洞——到底是兔子嘛,而煤房又暗,乱七八糟的堆满了破破烂烂的东西,谁知道铁笼子后面黑咕隆咚的地方还有一个洞呢?我们还一直以为兔子是从铁笼子最宽的那道栅栏处挤出去跑掉的呢。

那个洞很窄的,也就手臂粗吧,我就把手伸进去探了探,根本探不到头,又手持掏炉子的炉钩进去探了探,居然也探不到头!后来,他们用了更长的一截铁丝捅进去,才大概地估计出这个小隧道可能有两米多长,沿着隔墙一直向东延伸,已经打到大门口了,恐怕再有二十公分,就可以出去了……

我真的想象不到——当我们围着温暖的饭桌吃饭,当我们过完一天,开始进入梦乡,当我们又有了别的新鲜好玩的事情,并因此而欢乐、幸福……那只兔子,如何孤独地在黑暗冰冷的地下一点一点,忍着饥饿和寒冷,坚持重复一个动作——通往春天的动作……整整一个月,没有白天黑夜。我不知道在这一个月里,它一次又一次独自面对过多少的最后时刻……那时它已知生还是不可能了的,却在绝境中,在时间的安静和灵魂的安静中,感觉着春天一点一滴的来临……整整一个月……有时候它也会回到笼子里,回来看看这里有没有什么吃的,没有的话,就攀着栅栏,啃放在铁笼子上的纸箱子(后来我们才发现的,那个纸箱子的底面能被啃食到的地方全都没有了),嚼煤碴(被发现时,它的嘴脸和牙齿都黑黑的)……可是我们却什么也不知道……甚至当它已经奄奄一息了好几天后,我们才慢慢注意到。

都说兔子胆小,可我们所知道的是,兔子其实是勇敢的,它的生命里没有惊恐的内容。无论是沦陷,是被困,还是逃生,或者饥饿、绝境,直到奄奄一息,它始终那么平静淡然。它发抖,挣扎,不是因为害怕,而仅仅是因为它不能明白一些事情而已。但是兔子都知道些什么呢?万物皆在我们的想法之外,沟通绝无可能。怪不得外婆会说:“兔子兔子,你一个人好可怜哟……”

我们也生活得多孤独啊!虽然春天已经来了……当兔子满院子跑着撒欢,两只前爪抱着我外婆的鞋子像小狗一样又啃又拽——它好像什么都不记得了!它总是比我更轻易去抛弃不好的记忆,所以总是比我们更多地感觉着生命的喜悦。

 

(Reprinted with permission from the author)

 

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Poetry, Translation, Uncategorized

Wu Mu (Teo Sum Lim) – 新加坡组曲 (translated as ‘Singapore Suite’ by Shelly Bryant)

新加坡组曲

冒烟的枪管
辜加兵们举着一支支冒着热烟的枪管
冷冷地,瞄准我
以英国殖民地政府的语言和警告
在当年基里玛路的光华学校校园内
在一触即发的沸腾点上
(杀戮是可怕的——
那两个在枪管前临阵退缩的学生领袖
犹如两个弃械而逃的败将
她们不堪的溃散形象,塑成我
半个世纪后犹新的记忆)
群龙不能无首
我选择走出对峙的课室
挺身面对这个时代的惶恐和浪尖
在英国殖民地政府的算计与镇压下
在最为喧闹的世纪叫嚣前
在学生群众的不解眼神前,我高举双手
我以我孱弱的身体
一种舍身成仁的感性语言
走向那些雇佣兵
走向那些兀自冒着热烟的枪管
走向炼狱
作于2010年2月15日
原载2010年3月5日《联合早报·文艺城》
地铁工事
组屋之外,公路之外
高楼大桥与一切文明建设之外
还有一种奔放的声响
正在萌芽
筑着历史,筑着
混凝土与钢筋的骄傲
狮岛的血脉
以巨大的手掌穿云插地
音符是长长长长的衔接轨道
自南向北,横跨西东
如此粗犷的性格
将时空浓缩的地铁工事
每一节车轨是一下脉搏
每一根圆柱皆奠下一种无比的信心
作于1986年6月9日
原载1986年6月13日《联合早报·星云》
城市
城市从甜梦中晨起睡醒
黄色街灯揉着睡眼惺忪睡去
走廊上众排日光灯睡去
屋顶那颗红色夜间飞行警告灯睡去
夜间霓虹在太阳升起后暂停营业
播种组屋,五年一次翻新
硬质土地上,打桩声迫不及待地响起
碎路器赶着前来合唱
诸灯乍熄,树枝上的小鸟未曾展喉
急急的声响长长的声波已重重地切肤而入
那边厢印族同胞击鼓而歌
联络所一隅,有人正和城市主调抗衡
为一种名曰亚洲文化价值的东西
在大清早
作最后的力挽
作于1988年11月14日

原载1988年12月8日《联合早报·文艺城》

 

The English translation of this poem was first published in the programme notes of A Melody named Memory, an event on October 7, 2017 as part of The Arts House’s Poetry with Music series.

Singapore Suite

Wu Mu (Teo Sum Lim)
– Smoking Barrel –
the Gurkhas hold the hot smoking barrels
aimed coldly at me
with the language of the British colonial government
that year at the Kong Hwa School on Guillemard Road
exploding at the boiling point
(killing is terrible –
the two retreating student leaders before the barrels
like two abandoned, fleeing defeated foes
their crumpling girlish images mesh into mine
refreshing memories now lost half a century)
the group cannot go headless
I choose to walk out on the conflict
to stand and face this turbulent, fearful age
the schemes and oppressions
              of the British colonial government
where the century’s loudest clamour was raised
before the students’ puzzled eyes, I hold my hands high
with this weak flesh
a kind of sacrificial expression
I walk toward these mercenaries
I walk toward the hot smoking barrels they hold
I walk toward purgatory
– Building the MRT Tracks –
outside the house, outside the expressway
highrise buildings and all the civilised construction
accompanied by an unrestrained sound
of continued building
building history, building
of concrete and reinforced pride
the bloodline of a leonine nation
huge palm fronds piercing the clouds
the note sounds unendingly
spread south to north, west to east
such a rugged character
building the MRT tracks, rich in time and space
each section of track pulsing
each cylinder overlaid
      with unparalleled confidence
9 June 1986
first published 13 June 1986 in Lianhe Zaobao • Nebula
– City –
the city wakes from sweet morning dreams
the yellow streetlamps rub sleepy eyes
and corridor lights doze
at rest, red night lights warning flying planes overhead
as neon’s glow is suspended in the rising light of dawn

 

the HDB flats sown, then renovated every five years
on hard earth, the sound of pile drivers can hardly wait to ring
the jackhammer rushes to join the chorus
the lights have faded, but the birds
     in the branches have yet to open their mouths
the long waves of sound sink heavily into earth and skin
there where our Indian compatriots drum and sing
at the corner of the community centre,
and someone contends with the city’s main tune
for the sake of something called Asian cultural values
in the bold morning
giving a final pull
14 November 1988
first published 8 December 1988 in Lianhe Zaobao • Art City
Continue reading
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December 4, 2017
Poetry, Translation

Dan Ying – 梳起不嫁 (translated as “Combing Up, Never to Marry” by Shelly Bryant)

梳起不嫁

淡莹
柔柔披在肩上的
岂只是乌黑水亮的秀发
是炫丽闪烁的青春啊
从唐山逶迤到南洋
蕉风拂过,椰雨淋过
那匹玄色动人的瀑布
千里一泻至小蛮腰
袅袅娜娜,摇曳生姿
多少汉家郎的心弦
多少好男儿的遐思
都被一一牵动
    一一撩起
六月初九,麻雀啾啾
啼亮了晨光
万物睁开双眼
发现世界依旧美好
怎会料到,样样
美好依旧的这天
掌中小小竹篦
一梳就梳起了
今生今世的岁月
梳掉憧憬和浪漫
梳走汉家郎
    好男儿的
无限深情,万般眷恋
一篦一篦,梳得
如此整齐,一丝不苟
如此利落,决不含糊
连刹那间的回眸
都是冰清玉洁
三千缕情愫
自六月初九开始
被紧紧绾在脑后
顺溜、密实、服贴
再也不能随意飞扬
不能招风、不能妆扮
凡触及它的,眼神
无不伤痛,目光
无不黯然、惆怅
为何把灿烂的
灿烂的二八年华
梳成漫长寂寞的道路?
为何把似水的
似水的少女情怀
梳成午夜梦回的叹息?
为何把少年家的爱慕
梳成终身的遗憾?
为什么?到底为什么?
佛祖,观世音,目善眉慈
在莲花座上,静静
倾听不嫁少女的心声
为了唐山破败的家园
为了继承香火的弟兄
为了逃避为人妻
        为人媳的未知命运
你毫无怨尤
以一双纤纤素手
你心甘情愿
以一辈子孤清
换来亲人的丰衣、足食
决定梳起那天,你说
庙宇的钟声特别脆亮
烟飞烟灭中,尽是爹娘
兄弟们亲切的笑靥
你说,你心里充满喜悦
果真是这样吗?
果真永远不后悔吗?
岁月峥嵘,五十年
在尘埃、油垢、污水中
悠悠流逝,无恨,亦无爱
你胼手胝足
为远方的家人、侄儿
盖起一栋又一栋房子
如今,夕阳老去,晚风渐起
你是那截快燃尽的蜡烛
这些手足,这些身上
有着或亲或疏血缘关系的人
会在头上,赐你
一块瓦?脚下
赏你一寸土吗?
当年,跪在神灵前
欢天喜地,全心全意
梳起不嫁时,那颗
令人动容的美丽孝心
可曾想到,半个世纪后
如何梳理缭乱的愁绪
是不是越梳越愁?
越梳越乱?终于
乱得一片凄凉
乱得不堪细诉,更
不堪回首
作于1980年代末
收入淡莹诗集《发上岁月》,1993年
The English translation of this poem was first published in the programme notes of A Melody named Memory, an event on October 7, 2017 as part of The Arts House’s Poetry with Music series.

Combing Up, Never to Marry   

lying softly on the shoulders
is it only shiny, raven-black hair?
it is dazzling, flickering youth
meandering from Tangshan to Nanyang
a rustling banana breeze, a drizzling coconut rain
the mysterious waterfall
purged over thousands of miles to a slim waistline
delicate and slender, swaying
how many heartstrings from the Han household
how many sentiments of a good man
all have a single effect
     – each in turn lifted
ninth day of the sixth month, the sparrow chirps
crying in the morning light
as everything begins to open its eyes
to find the world still beautiful
how can it be
that the day is still lovely
small bamboo comb in the grasp
the present age
combing out the longing and romance
coming out the good man
     of the Han household
infinite affection, all-embracing love
every stroke, combed
so neat, so clear
looking around in this moment
all is cold and clean
three thousand strands of affection
starting from the ninth day of the sixth month
tightly bound to the back of the head
smooth, dense, neat
no longer free to fly
unable to attract the wind, unable to dress up
where it is touched, the eyes
none without pain, bright eyes
all saddened and melancholy
why comb this brilliant
this bright age of sixteen
down this long lonely road?
why comb sentiments
this girlish sentiment
into sighs of midnight dreams?
why comb the love of the young man
into a lifetime of regret?
why? tell me, why?
Buddha, Kuanyin, eyes of kindness
in the lotus position, silent
listening to the voices of celibate girls
for the sake of dilapidated Tangshan homes
for the sake of the brothers who must carry on the family line
for the sake of not becoming a wife
     the uncertain fate of the daughter-in-law
you have no resentment
with your slim hands
you are willing
to live a lonely life
in exchange for sufficient clothing and food
the day you decided to comb your hair up, you said
the temple bells were especially crisp
smoke drifts, full of father and mother
and brothers’ kind smiles
you say your heart is full of joy
is that true?
have you really never known regret?
an age towers, fifty years
in dust, grease, sewage
long past, with no hate, no love
callouses on your hands and feet
for the distant family, a nephew
building house after house
now, the sun setting, the breeze starting
you are a fast-burning candle
will these brothers, these people
with blood ties or without
grant to you
a tile? beneath your feet
an inch of ground to give?
that year kneeling before the gods
joyful and wholehearted
comb up, never to marry
so moving, that filial piety
did you imagine half a century later
how you would sort through the melancholy
is it more sorrowful the more it is combined?
does each stroke not bring more chaos? at last
the chaos is desolate
unsettled, even more
an unrelenting pain
written in the late 1980s
from Dan Ying’s The Tales Behind the Hair, 1993
Continue reading
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December 11, 2017
Poetry, Translation

Xiangyun Lim – a translation of ‘State of Phobia’/恐惧症 by Tang Jui Piow/陈维彪

Xiangyun Lim has a particular interest in translating contemporary works from the Chinese diaspora. Her works can be found in Living in Babel (Canopy), The Creative Literary Studio, and is forthcoming in Poem. Having grown up in Singapore, Xiang has lived in Seattle, Barcelona, Taiwan and United Kingdom. She is one of the recipients of the Singapore Apprenticeship in Literary Translation (SALT).  She can be reached at https://tweedlingdum.com.

 

State of Phobia

 

Train home:

A middle-aged lady sits, heavy

with plastic baggies of

guotie

 

“Smells good right? You want one? Cannot,

got fine. Fine how much money ah?

 

You know, we used to live in Sembawang, it was

a slice of kampung life,

a village of unending chatter

a village moved

into newly built flats. But

 

it is quiet where I stay now. No one talks.

‘Don’t speak to strangers,’ my son says.

‘Don’t be nosy.’ So

I stay silent.

 

(Doors open and

close. Train

moves on.)

 

Do you know? It’s so quiet where I live.

I want to move to Yishun. Nearer to my sister.

There’s this hill, once you see it,

soon you will get off the train.

Many urns on this hill.”

 

You say,

One could spy eagles then

wings spread

soaring in circles

 

You say,

Once it rained for so long

rivers of ashes seeped

into soil, flowed

onto roads

 

Continue reading