Category

Translation

Review, Translation

REVIEW: The Euphoria of Violence and The Absurdity of Heroism in Ai Wei’s ‘The Road Home’ (Aiden Heung)

Ai Wei (Author), Alice Xin Liu (Translator, Chinese to English ) , The Road Home, Penguin Random House/Penguin Books, 2019, 81 pages

 

Violence, by definition, is the intentional use of force against oneself or others to inflict injury, death or trauma. Despite being widely reprimanded and censured, more often than not, the use of violence is justified, or even celebrated once it is labeled as nationalism. The mistaking of violence for glory is like a ghost that can never be exorcised, and is the basis of countless tragedies. It is therefore a writer’s responsibility to reflect on these tragedies, and ask why they occurred, even if he knows there won’t be any answers. As for readers, it is up to us not to forget.

That is exactly what Ai Wei does in his novel, The Road Home. One of the most lauded authors of the 1960s generation, he writes about the insignificance of a life entangled in a hostile social environment, eulogizing on the greatness and tenacity of human nature by trying to understand our raison d’être. He cares about those who find themselves “under the wheels of creakily-forward-moving history”.

The story takes place around the time of the China-Soviet border conflict, several years after the beginning of the Cultural Revolution. An obsession with violence already permeates the small village where the main protagonist Jiefang, a teenage boy, lives. In school, teachers show students the different modes of Soviet weapons and teach a military drill game to expose and catch “enemy commanders”. Jiefang often confronts his nemesis Strongbull, and their typical way of solving problems is a fist fight.

In the village, people spy and tell on each other, and torture the children of “four sinister elements, or people considered inimical to the new regime”. One day, when the children discover a trench full of bullets, joy “spreads like wildfire” in the village. Jiefang takes an active part in finding and hoarding them.

Trouble comes when Jiefang’s father is reported as a counter-revolutionary for painting a picture of the war hero Dong Cuirun bombing a bunker beneath a portrait of Chairman Mao. To atone for his father’s “crime” and redeem himself as a son of a counter-revolutionary, he has to become a true hero; a scarred soldier in the war. Jiefang makes use of the gun-powder inside a bomb he accidentally finds, and thus embarks on a “heroic” journey.

 The story centers on conflict: between Jiefang and Strongbull, between Jiefang’s father and the Revolutionaries, and between “politically correct” people and counter-revolutionaries. In any conflict there must be a winner or a hero.

Violence permeates the air. “Jiefang thinks the smell of gunpowder is the best smell in the whole world, all of the pores of his body open up after he smells gun powder and his whole being is relaxed”. It is every boy’s dream to become a hero and be received with “ drums and gongs”. However, in the end, the euphoria of violence leads only to fear and insecurity; Jiefang constantly escapes into the shells of the bomb for solace.

The story is full of metaphors. The smell of gun powder and the squirrels are particularly interesting, reflecting the antithesis of themes, as if the author were offering his own idea of redemption.

The setting is simple, logical, and almost true to history, with a touch of dramatic exaggeration that lifts the story to a higher level of tragicomedy. It leads us to ponder the uselessness of human endeavor, and the futility of being better or different in an absurd society, especially when this endeavor is tarnished from the very beginning by illusions.

Praise must also be given to Ai Wei’s dispassionate approach to the story. He tells but does not judge or suggest. He is the kind of writer who toys with the shadow of death by using the idea of a blade instead of blood.

Alice Xin Liu’s translation perfectly conveys the details and the mood of the text itself, as many historical facts are made easily approachable through her words. This is not an easy task for a novel with a strong connection with China’s tumultuous past.

If the purpose of this story is to “commemorate the past and enlighten the future”,  Ai Wei certainly delivers. Half a century later, we now more than ever need to be reminded of the dire consequences of conflating violence with heroism.

 

Aiden Heung is a prize-winning poet born and raised on the edge of Tibetan Plateau. He holds an MA in literature from Tongji University in Shanghai, the city he calls home. His poems have been published or are forthcoming in numerous online and offline magazines including Cha: An Asian Literary Journal, Literary Shanghai, Proverse Anthology, The Shanghai Literary Review, New English Review, The Bangalore Review, Esthetic Apostle, Mekong Review, among many other places.He can be found on twitter @AidenHeung or www.aiden-heung.com

 

 

Continue reading
Interview, Translation

Alluvium: Interview with Felix Rian Constantinescu

In the first of a new series of interviews with translators and writers, we are delighted to introduce Felix Rian Constantinescu, whose work we have recently published here at Alluvium.

Alluvium: Felix, firstly thank you for agreeing to speak with us. Could you start by introducing yourself and your work?

Felix: Hi Literary Shanghai. Professionally speaking, I see myself first as a poetry translator. I translated my first poems when I was in seventh grade – the work of Anne Sexton. I also translated some work by Ruckert – a minor German poet – from a Gothic lettered book printed in 1843 in Leipzig. But broadly speaking, I’m a poet, author, and writer of short plays.

Alluvium: What challenges do you face in your work as a translator?

Felix: I see myself as a millionaire fisherman. I buy lakes and lie in wait, reading anthologies to find a beautiful poem to translate. As part of my job I collect anthologies. I even have Chinese literary magazines in English dating back as far as 1986 and 1990. I’m a great believer that more poetry should be published and translated, especially in smaller countries like Romania. For me, China is definitely the future.

Alluvium: In the context of the recent Sino-Romanian project to translate the works of the great Romanian masters into Chinese, have you translated any work from Chinese into Romanian?

Felix: In 2018 I translated work by four Chinese poets – An Qi, Li-Young Lee, Ah Xin and Ba Ling. They are all contemporary poets, but in my opinion masters of the craft.

Alluvium: What, in your opinion, makes a good translator?

Felix: To put it quite bluntly, self-identification as a poet. To translate poetry, you must be able to write it.

Alluvium: What do you find most rewarding about the translation process?

Felix: That the poems are ‘out there’ being read. A poem is like a cabin – a place to go to and read or brood over things like love and death. It’s a great feeling when someone totally unknown to you translates your work and publishes it on a renowned website with your name on it. The most rewarding thing about translating is being read, I believe. To be read is to be loved.

Alluvium: For readers unfamiliar with Romanian literature, who are the most interesting “masters”, in your opinion?

Felix: I am the child of Romanian and French teachers, so I grew up with poetry. My father once told me that if he were stranded on a desert island with only one Romanian poetry book, it would be by Alexandru Philippide. My mother loved Ion Pillat and Ștefan Octavian Iosif, and I’m a fan of Octavian Goga. Other notable names are Mihai Eminescu, Alexandru Macedonski, George Coșbuc, Lucian Blaga, Ion Barbu, Tudor Arghezi, Vasile Voiculescu, Nichita Stănescu, and Marin Sorescu.

Alluvium: And who is the most interesting Romanian author writing today?

Felix: Linda Maria Baros.

Alluvium: Finally, what are your hopes for the future in your career as a writer and translator?

Felix: My main hope is to carry on translating and being published for the rest of my life,  translating as many beautiful works as possible.

Alluvium: Thank you!

Continue reading
Poetry, Translation

Masoud Razfar – روزهایی بلند چون چتر نجاتی بازشده پس از سفر به فضا (a translation of ‘ Days Like a Prolonged Parachute After a Space Flight’ by Jason Wee)

Born and raised in Tehran, Iran, Masoud Razfar has studied Linguistics and English Translation. He works as a translator for refugees and migrants, and lives in Bangkok. He has translated some works of Persian poets into English. He is the first to render Jason Wee’s poem (or probably any other Singaporean poet’s) into Farsi.

 

روزهایی بلند چون چتر نجاتی بازشده پس از سفر به فضا

 

در کشوری که هرگز نبوده است

ما در گذشته­ای ملاقات خواهیم کرد

اما نه آنی که به خاطر می­آوریم.

هنوز هم همان کسانی را دوست داریم که دوست­شان داشته ایم

اما فرق کرده­اند، عاشقان دیگری گرفته­اند

در کشوری که هرگز نبوده است.

در این گذشته درد تو در فراموشی است

باز همان شراب مشترک، تخت­مان، یک اسم

اما نه آنی که به خاطر می­آوریم.

درد من اما از فراموش نکردن حتی ذره­ای

از این شبی است که کنار هم خفته­ایم

در کشوری که هرگز نبوده است.

چشمانم از این ترس بازمانده­اند که

در این گذشته من و تو همه چیزمان مشترک است جز عشق

حداقل نه آنی که به خاطر می­آوریم.

این گذشته نه بدتر است و نه بهتر،

در کشوری که هرگز نبوده است.

اما بر من تنگ می­شود، درست مثل تصمیمی که نزدیک است

اما نه آنی که تو به خاطر خواهی آورد.

 

Days Like a Prolonged Parachute After a Space Flight

 

In the country that never was

we will meet in a past

but not the one we remember.

 

The ones we love are still the ones we love

but changed, with different lovers

in the country that never was.

 

In this past your pain lies in forgetting

afresh the shared drink, our bed, a name

but not the one we remember;

 

mine comes from forgetting nothing

of the now when we lie at night

in the country that never was.

 

My eyes held open by the fear that

in this past we share everything but love

at least not the one we remember.

 

This past is not worse, nor better,

in the country that never was

but closing in, like my choice to come

but not the one you’d remember.

 

(Jason Wee, 2015)

 

Continue reading
Poetry, Translation

Alex Nodopaka – two poems

Alex Nodopaka is a visual artist and writer who has practiced both art forms since the 1950s in several languages. His visual art has been used on many occasions as an ekphrastic background for poetry.

 

存在目的我想知道当我坐在我的办公桌前时我有

个模糊的想法 我早些时候写了什么

我的想法开始徘徊

因为我开始想回答我的生日好心人或我的水族馆

里的许多鱼没有当我的手指点击

个虚拟的空白页面时

我很快忘记了当我第

次坐在桌边时我要写的东西

它让我担心,因为如果每个人都经历同样的事情

我们将如何实现目标。好吧,就像我们大多数人

样。如果飞行员坐在驾驶舱内并忘记了他的仪表的意义或者为

了举起金属野兽而进行切换的顺序怎么办?无论如何 我不知道它与我在互联网拍卖行上购买日本花瓶并打开盒

子以便处理小宝石并感受其优雅的线条有什么关系

尽管如此,它很快就会在

个架子上收集灰尘

个世纪,但它只是激发了我对艺术家的想象力

以及他或她的大量知识和实践来实现这个短暂的存在主义奇迹

 

Existential Purpose

 

I wonder when I sit at my desk

with a vague idea I had earlier

of what to write

and my thoughts begin

to wander

because I start thinking

of answering

my birthday well-wishers

or that the many fishes

in my aquariums

haven’t been fed

while my fingers

click on a virtual blank page

and I soon forget

what I was going to write

when I first sat at the desk.

 

It worries me because

if everyone

experiences the same

how come we reach our goals.

 

Well, as most of us do

anyhow.

 

What if the pilot

sat in the cockpit

and forgot the meaning

of his gauges

or the sequence of toggling

for lifting the metallic beast.

 

Anyhow, I don’t know

what it has to do with me

acquiring a Nippon vase

over an internet auction house

and opening the box

for the sake of handling

the little jewel

and feeling its elegant lines.

 

Even though, soon enough

it’ll be collecting dust

on some shelf

for another century

but it simply spurred

my imagination

about the artist

who made it and his or her

vast amount of knowledge

and practice to have achieved

this ephemeral

existential marvel.

 

~

 

全息碎片我是诗歌宏大典范中的一

个全息缝隙我避免经常出现在我的言论不太多的地方

所以你的诗中有

个吟游诗人的地方暗示我会说在你的写作中

起错过了。请注意我写的是其他人的剩余象牙

也许这是一种诗意的回应。

 

A Holographic Shard

 

I’m a holographic chink

in the grand apotheosis

of poetry

 

I avoid being

too often present

where my remarks

are not much wanted

and so it is

with your poem

where a bard

has a spot-on

suggestion

that I would’ve missed

altogether

in your writing.

 

And notice

I write

on the leftover ivories

of others.

 

Maybe this is

a poetic response.

Continue reading
Poetry, Translation

Germain Droogenbroodt – Two Poems

Germain Droogenbroodt is a Belgian (Flemish) poet living in Spain. He is also a translator, publisher, and promoter of international poetry. He has received many international awards (including a 2017 nomination for the Nobel Prize in Literature), and is invited each year t0 the most prestigious international poetry festivals in the world.  He is the author of short stories, literary criticism, and 13 books of poetry, and has translated over 35 collections of international poetry. His own poetry collections have been published in 28 countries. He is the editor of POINT Editions (founded 1984 in Belgium), president of Fundación Cultural Ithaca (Spain), vice president of the Mihai Eminescu Academy (Romania), and co-founder of JUNPA (Japan Universal Poets Association). He publishes a Poem of the Week in more than 20 languages, as well as international poetry, reaching over 14,000 readers all over the world. The Indian poet-publisher Thachom Poyil Rajeevan has compared his philosophical Dao- and Zen-inspired poetry with the work of Rabindranath Tagore, while in Spain his poetry has been compared with that of Juan Ramón Jimenez.

 

Shanghai

 

 Unmoved flowing between past and present:

the river

 

reflecting at dusk

the heaven-defying towers

the colourful, ephemeral glitter

 

nameless

the testament

the stone trace of men.

 

Shanghai, Friday 6.9.2013

 

 

上海

 

不为所动

在往昔与今日间流动:

 

河流

暮色中倒映

蔑视天堂之塔

瞬间闪烁五彩斑斓

 

无名的

誓约

人类勾画的石迹。

 

2013 年 9 月 6 日,周五,上海

 

~

 

Concert in the Buddhist Monastery Vandana (Taiwan)

  

So tender are the fingers

it’s as if even they want to play on the soul of the qin.

 

Prayers

 

as pure as fluttering snowflakes that linger a while

on the wheel of time.

 

* Qin or Guqin, traditional Chinese instrument with 7 strings, played by literati including Confucius.

 

湾范达娜寺院演唱会

 

如此温柔的手指

仿佛要在琴的

灵魂上弹奏

 

祈愿声

纯如雪花飞舞

在时光的车轮上

逗留,渐渐消失

 

 

*古琴,中国传统乐器,7 弦,中国文人,包括孔子,都喜欢弹奏。

 

 

Continue reading
Poetry, Translation

William Zhang – translation of ‘Not Your Business’ by Shelly Bryant

与你无关

 

这与你无关,她说

那时我正在评论近旁

那对孵在茶室里的人

 

然后,她把话题岔开

转向刚刚驻足花床的蜻蜓

戴着透镜,足足六英寸厚

 

~

Not Your Business

it’s not your business, she said

when I commented on the pair

lounging nearby in the teahouse

then turned to the dragonfly

just settling in the flowerbed

with her lens, six inches long

Continue reading
Poetry, Translation

William Zhang – translation of ‘Special Administrative District’ by Shelly Bryant

特别行政区

 

改名

易帜

契丹    辽    满洲

热河    热河

日之丸

缓冲地带     裁碎

被四邻三头兼并

不留痕迹

在今天我们看见的

地图上

 

~

 

Special Administrative District

names   changing

changing       hands

Khitan        Liao          Manchu

Rehe         Jehol

Japan

a buffer zone             shredded

absorbed by a neighborly trio

no trace left

on the maps we know

today

Continue reading
Translation

Zhi Hui Ho – translation of an essay by Lei Shurong

This piece is a translation of the essay《每个人心里都有个奥吉》by Lei Shurong, which was published at Alluvium across two posts on June 4th and June 11th 2018.

 

Everyone Knows Someone Like Auggie 
by Lei Shurong

1.

 

More than thirty years ago, in the little village where I grew up, there was a family who had a disabled son. He was never given a name: everyone just called him “the idiot”.

The idiot was not only intellectually challenged – his face was paralysed and he was lame too. His parents had neither the money for a doctor nor the kindness to treat him well, because he was an embarrassment and a nightmare to their whole family. They fed him on leftovers. They looked at him with frosty contempt. They forced him to sleep in the dog kennels. And at every turn, they flung abuse and curses at him. In that superstitious little mountain village, people believed that a disabled child was a reincarnation of an evil spirit – a bad omen. Fingers wagged and tongues spat poison, and everyone did everything they could to avoid him. However, he couldn’t understand what was happening, and so he was always smiling and giggling foolishly, mistaking all the abuse for kindness.

 

Mostly, the adults were busy leading their own lives, so they left him alone. But the village children didn’t.

 

He had nothing to do all day, so he liked wandering in the mountains. He would pick flowers and then scatter them, or he would chase birds and butterflies, calling aloud as he went. Perhaps the other children felt that he wasn’t worthy of happiness, because whenever they saw him they would immediately give chase and beat him up. His bad leg made escape impossible, so he was often punched and kicked until he was black and blue, and the mountain resounded with his sharp wails.

 

Such are some of the fiercest, most profoundly affecting of my memories: a group of village children surrounded by the flowers of a beautiful spring day; in the midst of a forest redolent with summer; in the golden-yellow paddy fields of autumn; on the pristine snows of winter – chasing viciously after a disabled boy, who couldn’t stop crying.

 

Anyone could bully the idiot. No one protected him, and no one gave him even a shred of care or concern. No one, that is, aside from the big dog. It was a massive animal – a rangy, yellow, fierce-looking thing, and it barked incessantly at outsiders. But the dog was the only one who never turned up its nose at him. On the contrary, it was the guardian angel by his side. And it was only because of the big dog that the other children’s savagery grew no worse.

 

I was afraid of both of them. I was afraid that the idiot would touch my clothes with his dirty hands. I was afraid of the long, slimy line of drool that trailed down from the corner of his mouth, which was always speaking gibberish. I was afraid that his deformed face would be contagious: that it would get into my dreams and turn them into nightmares. My heart seemed to be stuck in my throat every time I went by his house.

 

One day, when I was walking gingerly past his door, I heard a low, deep snarl, and then the big dog leapt out at me. I was terrified, screaming and crying. I ran a few steps and then fell. I squeezed my eyes shut in despair as I waited for its teeth to close on me.

 

But strangely, the dog did not bite me. Instead, it made a low crooning noise and plopped its backside down onto the ground beside me. I lifted my head to look, and there he was, caressing the dog’s head, his face wreathed in a foolish smile.

 

That was the first time I had come face to face with him, and it was the only time I actually saw him clearly. His head was misshapen and his features horribly lopsided, but his eyes were warm and gentle, like those of a newborn lamb.

 

He died before he turned ten.

 

His parents didn’t even bury him in the family plot in the graveyard. They scratched out a hole somewhere on the mountain slopes and dumped him into it. He was like a weed: not long in this world, living out his days and dying alone. The strange thing was, even after many years had gone by and the events and people of the village were dim, mostly-forgotten memories, I still kept a crystal-clear impression of his face, and his alone.

 

 

2.

 

His story was a huge secret to me. I kept it buried in my heart and never spoke of it to anyone, until my son turned fourteen.

 

In October 2014, my son Tu Dou and I moved to Shanghai, to a tiny rental apartment. We were preparing for him to enter a high school affiliated with the Shanghai Conservatory of Music the following year, in the spring.

 

This was a weighty decision for my son. At fourteen, he had set his heart on becoming a pianist. That meant more than just giving up the school he liked, with its familiar teachers and students, and leaving his hometown and his comfortable, normal life. It signified a turn away from a broad, well-paved Roman road, and a turn onto a bitter, thorny, narrow path in pursuit of the arts. It was a lonely choice.

 

The apartment in Shanghai was old and cramped. Other than a grand piano, it had barely any furniture in it at all. That, added to the fact that we were strangers in an unfamiliar city, quite naturally left us feeling miserable and adrift. Luckily, I was offered a translation project at that point, which I accepted without hesitation. I also made a strict plan for myself: I would translate 1500 words of the book every day, come hell or high water, and I would finish it within three months. In my experience, adjusting to a new place was always a matter of having something to do. Once I had that, I would be able to adapt quickly to the new environment, and shake off the feeling of being lost and helpless.

 

It was only when I’d hastily turned to the first page of the book that I realised that the protagonist a disabled ten-year-old boy. His name was August, but everyone called him “Auggie”. The book’s title was Wonder.

 

From the very beginning, I made Tu Dou accompany me on my translation journey. I made him my first reader and called him my “assistant”. In this globalised era, the habits of little boys everywhere move largely in lockstep. In the book, Auggie is entering middle school; at the time, Tu Dou was about to graduate from it, so naturally they had a great deal in common. Thus, Tu Dou and I fell into a routine: every day, after I’d finished writing, he would automatically take my spot at the computer and read what I’d translated, checking for any common-sense errors or anything that sounded too much like something a grown-up would say. The latter was my request: Auggie was ten years old in the novel, and I wanted the translation to suit his age. I didn’t want it to sound outdated or grown-up, even though Auggie was a more mature ten-year-old than most. Tu Dou took this duty very seriously, and nitpicked his way through my work at every turn.

 

“You said that Auggie’s mum was ‘awful’ at fractions. You should say she ‘sucked’!”

 

“Auggie says, ‘Mr. Tushman’s the boss at my new school’. You could change that to ‘head’.”

 

“‘Only an idiot would choose leadership class’. You could try ‘only dorks take leadership’.”

 

Of course, my son was also deeply drawn in by Auggie’s story. On one hand, Auggie read Eragon, The Chronicles of Narnia, and The Hobbit; he played Dungeons and Dragons and was totally in love with Star Wars. Auggie was like any typical child in those respects. On the other hand, he’d had 27 surgeries since birth, over a short ten-year life. He never actually attended school. Because of his disfigurement, people gave him sidelong glances or tried to avoid him wherever he went; he was called ‘rat boy’, ‘freak’, ‘E.T.’, ‘gross-out’, ‘lizardface’, ‘mutant’, ‘diseased’. The sheer contrast was enough to tug at the heartstrings.       

 

The translation made steady progress. And as I expected, our life in the new, strange city became easier and calmer, like a small stream converging with a far mightier river. Oddly enough, however, as the translation advanced, and as the story became more and more exciting, Tu Dou began to talk less and less about it. When we got to the chapter called “The Cheese Touch”, I realised that something was wrong. He sat in silence at the computer for a while, and then went to his piano without a word. That wasn’t normal. Typically, he would be talking my ear off about the details of the book: Darth Vader-something-something, padawan-etcetera-etcetera, Battleground-Mystic-is-this-and-that, and so on into infinity. In fact, when we got to the bit where Auggie talks about the “farting nurse” who was present at his birth, who “let out the biggest, loudest, smelliest fart in the history of farts”, Tu Dou had laughed about it for half a day. Over the next two days, as I got through translating the next two chapters, “Halloween Costumes” and “The Bleeding Scream”, Tu Dou remained silent. I checked for fever: nothing. I asked him if he was homesick: he shook his head. When I questioned him further, he finally lifted his head, and when he met my gaze there were tears in his eyes.

 

“Mummy, there was a boy like Auggie in our class too. Do you remember Q?” he burst into tears. “I was bad, mummy – I hate myself!”

 

 

3.

 

Of course I remembered Q.

 

He was an elementary school classmate of Tu Dou’s, with a pair of big, timid eyes. He was skinny as a beansprout, and his actions and reactions were always a beat slower than the other children. Tu Dou once told me that Q couldn’t write, couldn’t count, and couldn’t do his homework. Whenever the teacher asked him about it, he couldn’t answer either. He could only scratch at his ears and cheeks while muttering, “It’s so itchy…” over and over. Tu Dou also told me that many of his other classmates disliked Q. They found him stupid, an idiot, a blockhead, and they refused to be friends with him. I also remembered having a long, serious talk with Tu Dou, telling him that everyone was like a tree in a forest, each with its own pace of growth: some tall, some short, some quick, some slow. I emphasised to him that being quick didn’t give him the right to look down on those who were slow, and that he should try his best to help them instead. I got him to promise me that he would be kind to Q, and not mock or bully him or look down on him. In truth, as I translated Wonder, both Q and the boy from my village had come to mind several times.

 

“I know I promised you I’d help Q, mummy, and I did – but I also made a mistake, like Jack Will, and I…”

 

In the novel, Jack Will was the only kid in class who treated Auggie decently. He was Auggie’s deskmate and good friend, and he became Auggie’s motivation for going to school at all. It was his protection that shielded Auggie from the hostile gazes and wagging tongues of others.

 

In contrast to Jack, though, there was Julian. The other kids ostracised Auggie simply because they were indifferent or thoughtless, avoiding or turning away from him. In contrast, Julian constantly thought of ways to use poisonous words and actions to hurt Auggie, and he actively plotted with others to isolate him even more.

 

On Halloween, due to a series of unfortunate events, Auggie didn’t wear the costume he’d planned to wear. He accidentally overheard a conversation between Julian and Jack. It turned out that Jack was so nice to Auggie not because he truly liked him, but because of an arrangement made by Principal Tushman. Jack even said to Julian, “I really think… if I looked like him, seriously, I think that I’d kill myself.” Auggie was seriously traumatised and hurt by this, and refused to go to school for a while.

 

So what was the bad thing that my Tu Dou had done? He told me that Q had an itchy skin condition called psoriasis, which was why he kept scratching himself. As a result, his skin was always rough and scaled all over, and it flaked off him like whole-body dandruff. That was why he couldn’t concentrate in class or finish his work. The whole class was terrified of touching him, for fear that he would infect them. It didn’t matter how much the teachers reassured the students that it wasn’t contagious. Everyone was petrified by the idea of having even the slightest contact with Q. Just like Auggie, Q had the “Cheese Touch”. He was an old moldy piece of cheese. No one wanted to sit next to him, no one wanted to partner him when playing ball, no one wanted to play games with him… They didn’t even touch the things he’d touched. When it was Q’s turn to hand out the workbooks for class, everyone refused to take them from him. Some people would grab them and rush to the window to let the sunlight “disinfect” them, and others would just toss the books onto the floor. My Tu Dou was no exception.

 

Q wanted to ingratiate himself with the others, so every day after lunch, he started helping them to collect their trays and plates. He was small and slow, so he often didn’t move quickly enough. As a result, some of the others would grab the plates and throw them at him, or they would hit him with their trays. Although Tu Dou never went that far, he did sit there complacently, waiting for Q to take his tray, as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

 

This state of affairs persisted until they graduated elementary school. Six whole years.

 

Six years! To be honest, I was utterly shocked. All along, I’d thought I’d understood my son: my innocent, flawless son – clear and shining like a crystal. It never occurred to me that he had any secrets. And to think: for six years, he had hidden such a terrible thing in the depths of his heart… that the shadow was of such magnitude…

 

Meeting my stunned gaze, he continued, slightly defensive now, “If I’d told you, Mummy, you’d have made me be friends with Q, and then everyone else would’ve ignored me. They’d have been mean to me too, and then if I told you that, you’d have come to school and made them all apologise to me and that would’ve been just the worst. Like, super embarrassing.”

 

I sighed. The shadow lying on my heart grew greater.

 

 

4.

 

In the end, I didn’t scold or blame Tu Dou for what had happened to Q. They were already three years out of elementary school, and had long since scattered to various middle schools. Even if I wanted Tu Dou to apologise to Q, we had no idea where he had gone. And besides – if we had found him, where would one even start? In any case, Tu Dou had clearly realised his own wrongdoing, and was already beating himself up about it. I figured it was enough that he would try and do better in the future.

 

In the meantime, the story kept progressing. I must say: Wonder was not only timely, it also covered everything that was essential and everything real. The author R. J. Palacio clearly had an excellent grasp of the psychology of little children: she understood the unique sensitivities and intricacies of their emotional landscapes, and she also knew the interpersonal web of middle school like the back of her hand. She wrote Auggie’s story in a polyphonic chorus of voices: Auggie himself narrates the first chapter, but the second chapter is turned over to his older sister Via. The third chapter is narrated by Summer – the only girl who is friends with Auggie, and the fourth chapter by Jack. The fifth chapter gives voice to Via’s boyfriend, Justin, and the seventh, Miranda – a mutual friend of Via and Auggie. The sixth and eighth chapters go back to Auggie’s point of view. Six children: each of them saw, described, and understood Auggie from their own point of view. In that way, the book brings out the different facets of Auggie’s life. It allows for a variety of analyses and understandings of what happened to him, and it helps the people and events to intersect and connect, forming a complete picture of middle school life. Almost any child, upon reading Wonder, can find a point of view that resonates.

 

Naturally, Tu Dou related most to Jack. In the novel, Jack is Auggie’s deskmate, friend, and protector, but he didn’t start out as a willing participant in those roles: Mr. Tushman intentionally arranges it. Jack’s relationship with Auggie starts out as a duty, but slowly evolves into real friendship. And when he unintentionally hurts Auggie’s feelings, and the two of them “break up” for a while, Jack comes to realise that he was wrong. Finally, in a later chapter, he hits Julian and thereby returns to his place as Auggie’s friend.

 

It was around that point in the book that Tu Dou pointed out to me that “Auggie doesn’t really exist in real life, Mummy.

 

“He’s born into a happy, middle-class family. His mum and dad and sister and grandma all love him lots. He’s strong and brave and clever and experienced. He’s good with his hands. He’s knowledgeable and good at writing, and he’s a nice, funny guy who has great character and learning ability. So it’s easier for other people not to care that he looks weird. Jack gets brave in the end, and knocks out one of Julian’s teeth when he’s protecting Auggie. But I think I’d do that too, because Julian’s horrible. He’s a big hypocrite and he’s a sneak and a snob. No one who’s really a good person would ever be friends with him.”

 

“And…?” I encouraged.

 

“Well, at first I thought I’d like to be like Jack, but then I thought – things aren’t really the same, so I don’t think I can. Q had a skin disease. He was a wimpy crybaby and he wasn’t good at anything at all. I just don’t think we could have been friends.

 

“Plus, I had a few good friends already. Some of them were Math Olympiad geniuses, some were champions for cross country, and some wrote amazing short stories. They were all cool and they were all honest, nice, happy people. I wouldn’t have not been friends with them.”

 

“That’s true,” I answered. “Fiction and real life don’t always match up. Auggie’s an ideal, Tu Dou. The author made him that way. He had a disability, but he wasn’t crippled. He looked abnormal, but in terms of who he was – his intelligence, behaviour, ability, and character – he wasn’t just a normal kid. He was better. And because of that, he didn’t have to go to a special needs school. He could go to a school with everyone else, even a well-known one like Beecher Prep.

 

“And that’s why we’re so drawn to this story. It’s about kid who doesn’t look normal wanting to enter a normal school. That creates a huge contrast. It drives the conflict. I guess Auggie isn’t just a medical marvel. He’s a literary marvel, a heroic figure. And people like reading about marvels.”

 

“Why would the author write him like that, though?”

 

“I guess she wanted to make people think. You know, if it’s this hard for someone amazing like Auggie to integrate into a normal school, what about all the other disabled kids? They probably have it worse than him. They might be in really bad circumstances or they might need special care. How bad must it be for them?

 

“Auggie’s a kind of dividing line,” I continued. “Above him are the ‘typical’ people, and below him are the people with special needs. We might say they’re disabled. And in reality, most of them lead lives that are more difficult than you or I can ever imagine. They might be missing arms or legs. They might be blind or deaf or dumb, and some might have intellectual or language disabilities. It might even be that one person has multiple problems.

 

“And these people are discriminated against from the day they’re born,” I went on, warming to the subject. “All their lives, ‘normal’ society will toss them aside. Those who are lucky will at least have their families to love and support them, so they won’t have to worry about being homeless or starving. Those who are even better off might get to go to a special needs school and learn the skills to be independent.

 

“But there are the unlucky ones who might have to struggle with poverty and be rejected not only by outsiders but by their own family. Like that boy in my village, the one I told you about.

 

“So what are we going to do, Tu Dou? Even if we can’t be friends with them, or they’re not our family, surely we shouldn’t treat them badly. It can’t be right to bully or mock or beat them, or stand by and ignore them as other people do that, no?”

 

“But there are lots of amazing disabled people,” Tu Dou said. “Like Stephen Hawking.”

 

“True. There are always disabled people who are miraculous geniuses, even among other geniuses. Their talent is so immense that it breaks through the restraints of their disabilities. And that’s when the whole world celebrates and respects them. They might even change the world, like Hawking, like the novelist Shi Tiesheng, like the blind pianist Tsujii Nobuyuki, like the Australian speaker Nick Vujicic…

 

“But without exception, they’ve all had to make tremendous sacrifices, and they were hugely loved by their parents. I think we could even say that the sheer size of their success is a sign of how much they suffered to get there.

 

“And besides,” I added, “They’re an absolutely tiny minority. They’re lucky. They’re God’s chosen few.”

 

“Mummy, you know that boy you told me about, in the village?” Tu Dou said. “Did you hit him?”

 

“No. I was afraid of him, though, so I never helped him and I never smiled at him, not even that day when he saved me from the dog. Not ever. And it’s one of the things that I regret most.”

 

“But if it’s not possible to be friends with them, then what should we do?”

 

“Actually, it’s probably enough to just overcome that feeling of fear. If you can choose not to be afraid, you might discover that it doesn’t matter if you can be friends with them,” I said. “You might not even need to help them. You just need to treat them normally. That’s the biggest kindness you can show them.”

 

 

5.

 

We got to Part Five of Wonder. On Valentine’s Day, Auggie’s older sister Via invited her boyfriend Justin to meet the family. Justin used to get tics when he was nervous, especially when they were at restaurants. Justin’s voice narrates: “i guess we’re all pretending not to notice things tonight. the waiter. my tics. the way august crushes the tortilla chips on the table and spoons the crumbs into his mouth.”

 

Tu Dou said to me that if Justin had been at his school, people would have looked down on him too. Justin was a good musician, but he had tics and his parents were separated. There was a serious lack of love in his life. These were all weaknesses, and school was like a jungle: other kids could smell weakness on you. Only the fittest would survive.

 

Tu Dou’s words startled me. It had never struck me before, but it was true: in a hostile environment, any one of us might be the weaklings. We could all, at any moment, encounter discrimination or unfair treatment.

 

In other words, we could all be Auggies. The only difference was the degree.

 

Tu Dou nodded seriously. “Look at Jack,” he said. In the book, Jack is portrayed as a brave little boy, but he doesn’t like going to school and gets bad grades. He has an ordinary family background. After Jack chooses to be friends with Auggie, most of the kids in class turn on him. No one talks to him. They all pretend he doesn’t exist. At one point, Auggie tells him, sardonically, “Welcome to my world!”

 

Yes, I got where Tu Dou was coming from: every child in the book had an imperfect life. In fact, Palacio gave them all some kind of internal lack or external flaw. Auggie and Via’s friend Miranda, for instance, is very beautiful. She becomes popular at her high school, but has to pay the price of being a liar who’s cynical about the world. Summer is almost perfect – a sweet girl, but she’s biracial, and nursing the giant wound of her father’s passing. She and her mother only have each other to depend on. Via seems to be flawless as well, but her difficulties stem from having Auggie as a brother. Since she was young, she’s withstood countless people pointing and whispering at her. All of this, including their love for Auggie and the compassion they show to the weak, would make them targets for mistreatment in a nastier environment.

 

“Yeah, if you say it that way, I get it,” Tu Dou said. “Remember Z, the girl in my old class? She was always eating, so she was fat. She had bad grades, and she was weird. She always lorded it over Q. She used to order him around and scold him all the time. On the flip side, other people ordered her around and scolded her, because she was fat. Everyone liked to bully her. To them, she and Q were the same.”

 

“Think about it,” I said to Tu Dou. “Those who are bullied aren’t just the fat kids, right? There’re skinny people, or the ones who are especially tall or short, or those who come from poor or farming families. Then there are ugly kids, kids who come from single-parent families, kids who get bad grades in class… Introverts, kids from the countryside… Basically, anyone who’s different, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Tu Dou said. “Actually, people discriminated against me too. Remember the year I won first prize at the piano competition? When I got back to school, some of them laughed at me. They said I was a sissy, that I wasn’t a guy, that only girls liked to play the piano. At first I was really mad and got into a fight with them. But later I realised that they didn’t understand classical music at all. They were just jealous.”

 

“Oh, Tu Dou! Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“You can be kinda overprotective sometimes, Mummy.”

 

 

6.

 

One day, Tu Dou came home and thrust an essay at me. It was the writer Mo Yan’s Nobel acceptance lecture, delivered on the 8th of December 2012, at the Swedish Academy of Arts. The topic was “Storytellers”. Tu Dou had marked out two passages. The first:

 

When I was in the third grade, in the 1960s, the school took us to see an exhibit on suffering, and under the teacher’s direction, we were told to cry loudly. So that the teacher would see my expression of sorrow, I didn’t wipe away the tears on my cheeks. I saw several students surreptitiously rub spit on their faces, to counterfeit tears. I also remember seeing that among the sea of students – some really crying, some only pretend crying – there was one student, whose face was completely dry, who was completely silent, who didn’t have his hands covering his face. His eyes were wide open and staring at us, and they were filled with a kind of surprise, or perhaps it was confusion. After that, I reported the student to my teacher, and because of that, the school gave him a disciplinary warning. Many years later, when I expressed remorse at having told on him to my teacher, my teacher said that that day, more than ten of us had come to tell him of that incident. That student died several decades ago, but every time I think of him, I am still wracked by guilt.

 

And the second passage:

 

I was born ugly, and so many people in the village would mock me blatantly. There were a few bullies at school who would even beat me up because of that. I returned home crying, and my mother said to me, “Son, you’re not ugly – you don’t lack a nose or eyes, you’ve got all four limbs, so how are you ugly? And besides, so long as you have a kind heart and do good things, even if you were ugly, you would become beautiful. And later, when I moved to the city, there were some ostensibly highly cultured people who would nonetheless mock my looks behind my back. Some even did it to my face. But I recalled my mother’s words, and that enabled me to apologise to them with a calm heart.

 

As a reply to those words, I let Tu Dou read Part Eight of the translation. The novel was coming to an end, and Auggie and his entire fifth-grade class go on a nature trip. His looks draw the attention of a bunch of mean seventh graders, and Jack steps forward to defend Auggie. Three other students – originally bullies themselves – also step forward to help Jack, so there’s a fight, in which Auggie gets hurt. This unfortunate event creates a massive stir at Beecher Prep, and it makes Jack and the kids who defend Auggie into heroes.

 

At the graduation ceremony, Auggie doesn’t just make it to the honor roll for his academic grades, he also receives the Henry Ward Beecher medal for his quiet strength and the way it’s an inspiration to everyone. Mr. Tushman uses the commencement speech to talk about kindness, and delivers stirring, thought-provoking words. He says:

 

“…we carry with us, as human beings, not just the capacity to be kind, but the very choice of kindness. Such a simple thing, kindness. Such a simple thing. A nice word of encouragement given when needed. An act of friendship. A passing smile.”

 

 

7.

 

A while later, I was browsing online when I noticed that Tu Dou had updated his Qzone blog with a picture and some elaboration. It was a picture of a roly-poly bug that he’d found in the bathroom. Beneath it, he’d written:

 

I used to like cats, dogs, rabbits, goldfish, pandas, butterflies, parrots, and all the other nice-looking animals. I used to think that flies, centipedes, roly-polies and other such ugly bugs were gross. So I always killed them immediately, without any hesitation. But now I understand that even though there are higher and lower lifeforms, there aren’t any better or worse lifeforms. This little guy accidentally found his way to my house. He has his own reasons for living, so I don’t think I’m all that different from him.

 

When I was younger, I looked at Feng Zikai’s collection, “Protecting Life”, and I didn’t understand what he meant when he said that protecting all life is protecting one’s own heart, but now I get it. So I put this little guy into a tissue and brought him to a flowerbed outside.  

 

 

8.

 

At the end of Wonder, Palacio added a postscript acknowledging and thanking all her family members and colleagues. After that, she thanked an anonymous individual: “Last but not least, I would like to thank the little girl in front of the ice cream shop, and all the other ‘Auggies’ whose stories have inspired me to write this book.”

 

I realised that this was where Wonder had sprung from, and that there was probably a moving story behind it. I checked a few overseas websites, and lo and behold:

 

When she wrote Wonder, Palacio was an editor at a publishing house, with two “Tu Dous” of her own. One day when she was out with her children, they were waiting in line at the ice cream shop. Ahead of them in the queue was a little girl with a very serious facial deformity. Palacio’s three-year-old son noticed the girl and began to cry in fear. The writer was horribly embarrassed, knowing that her son’s cries were hurtful to the little girl and her family. She scooped the boy up and left. Just as they were leaving, she heard the little girl’s mother say to her own children, in the calmest and friendliest of tones, “Alright, kids. I think it’s time to go.”

 

This real-life incident was written into Jack’s narrative, although she changed the mother to a babysitter.

 

When she got home, Palacio regretted her actions. She felt that she shouldn’t have left on the spot, but instead tried to deal with her son’s tears some other way. For instance, she could have taken him to talk to the little girl, or something similar. She kept thinking: how many times a day does that little girl and her family have to face this kind of incident? And that evening, she heard the Natalie Merchant song Wonder. She’d heard it before, but it wasn’t until that moment that she truly understood the lyrics:

 

Doctors have come from distant cities, just to see me

Stand over my bed, disbelieving what they’re seeing

They say I must be one of the wonders 

Of God’s own creation

And as far as they see, they can offer

No explanation

 

This song became both the title and the epigraph of the novel. Palacio had been touched twice in a single day. That very evening, struck by inspiration, she began to write the book.

 

I told Tu Dou about this. He murmured, “Huh. So everyone knows someone like Auggie.”

 

 

9.

 

Three months went by very quickly. On New Year’s Day 2015, I wrapped up the translation of Wonder on time, and handed it to the publishers.

 

I solemnly thanked Tu Dou for being such a major part of my translation work. Throughout the entire process, we’d helped each other, and spoken and listened to each other as friends would. It had brought us safely through that terrible initial period of moving to a strange new city.

 

He said, “Mummy, look: Palacio’s a book editor, you’re a book editor too. She wrote Wonder for her sons and you translated Wonder for your son.

 

“Thank you, Mummy,” he said. “I kinda feel like you translated this for me.”

 

 

10.

 

That autumn, Tu Dou got into the music high school affiliated with the Shanghai Conservatory of Music, and began to pursue his dreams of becoming a pianist.

 

Not long after school started, he came home with a piece of news that gave me a massive shock.

 

It turned out that his elementary school classmates had made a chat group, and the thirty-odd students had trickled back together in the confines of virtual space. They all sent a recent photo of themselves to the group, and talked about their new schools, their new classes, their new friends. Everyone was making good progress and everyone had grown up. Everything seemed wonderful.

 

In the midst of the hubbub, Tu Dou had asked about Q. And then someone had added Q to the group.

 

What startled Tu Dou was this: what happened in elementary school began to happen all over again.

 

“Ewww…” someone said.

 

“Go away!” said someone else.

 

“What are you doing here, retard? Go back to wherever you came from!” The boy who said that used to be a good friend of Tu Dou’s.

 

“Freaks like you have no right to be here!”

 

“Oh my god. Idiots can also use QQ now?”

 

“We don’t want you here. Don’t give us your creepy skin disease!” This person was also a good friend of Tu Dou’s.

 

“You’re just a nightmare, you’re not a classmate of ours!”

 

……

 

Before Tu Dou’s eyes, the chat grew longer and more agitated, with exclamation points filling the screen. This was the truly contagious disease. Everyone scrabbled to kick Q out of the group, just like what had happened three or four years ago in school. But this time, Tu Dou decided to stand up for Q.

 

We graduated elementary school ages ago, guys! we should be more grown up!

 

But nooooo

we’re all still totally immature

 

like we’re still stupid kids

 

bullying other people all the time

 

Don’t u guys have any SYMPATHY? u think ur all so good, brave and caring and all that

 

@H.W. and @A. I don’t wanna be ur friend anymore! Im ashamed that we used to be friends at all!

 

If you don’t start learning and examining yourselves, you’ll never know what true bravery is, or what real compassion is!

Until one day someone BULLIES YOU TOO !!!

 

@Q. lets just leave this chat these guys arent worth it

 

they cant hurt you anymore

 

Tu Dou typed in a fit of fury.

 

“And then?” I asked.

 

“Everyone went silent. Q listened to me and left the group, and then I left the group too.”

 

“You feel a sense of loss, but yet very gratified; a bit lonely, and yet tragically heroic?”  I asked.

 

“Yeah,” Tu Dou said. “It felt a bit like choosing to be a pianist. I felt both lonely and tragically heroic. Mummy, remember when I read Fu Lei’s Family Letters? I think I finally understand what he says to Fu Cong: first be a person, then an artist, and only then, a pianist.”

 

 

Continue reading
Poetry, Translation

William Zhang – translation of ‘Bonsai’ by Shelly Bryant

盆景

 

微树盛开

映山红般多彩燃放

 

昨日

他们绚烂的交响

尚未奏起

 

一支短歌

再次沉寂

两天过后

 

他们的心声

当我说着那音色时

回响在夕阳中

反射到你眼里

 

~

Bonsai

tiny trees in robust bloom

azaleas’ varicolored blaze

yesterday

their prismatic symphony

had yet to sound

a short-lived song

silenced again

two days later

their voices

as I spoke of the hues

echoed in the setting sun

reflected in your eyes

Continue reading